Tony Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
Have you heard the song Who Let The Dogs Out?
Played by Tony Robbins 
Shallow Hal (2001) · 14 quotes
Shallow Hal (2001) · 14 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Shallow Hal (2001): in 3 of its 14 quotes
Most scenes with: Mauricio (2)
Scenes with Tony
3 scenes Tony The thing is all the women he's been seeing are ugly.
Tony Who says they're ugly?
Bausch & Lomb.
See, the problem is I'm kind of pricky.
Tony What do you mean, pricky?
Well. For instance, I like them real young. Like, did you ever see Paulina in her first "Sports Illustrated" layout?
Tony You're looking for a young Paulina type?
Well, that face. But with better headlights. You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? Heidi Klum's beams would would do, and her teeth. Or, ooh. That Britney Spears girl. She's got great knockers, but she's a tad muscular. Uh. Actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too. If she had a better grille. Like, uh. Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did Grease 2. But she'd have to be a little smilier than Michelle. Kind of like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. You know what I mean? Someone like that.
Tony Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women?
Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit too.
Tony Okay, Hal. Hypothetical situation. Which do you prefer: a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain?
Hmmm, toughie. What about the remaining breast? Is it big?