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Ghost of Christmas Past: You still spend the next fifteen years sitting on your ass watching TV.
Frank: Check the records! I did some stuff. I played baseball. One year, I hit the home-run that won the big game--
Ghost of Christmas Past: That was the kid on The Courtship of Eddie's Father.
Frank: There was another time, though. I was on a hill covered with flowers, and there was a beautiful girl with pigtails--
Ghost of Christmas Past: PATHETIC! You are so pathetic! That was Little House on the Prairie!
Frank: ... Was it the the homecoming episode?
Ghost of Christmas Past: [exasperated] Yes, it was the homecoming episode of Little House. Let's face it, Frank. Garden slugs got more out of life than you.
Frank: Yeah? Name one.
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