Earl Cross
All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work... 'My back hurts,' 'my legs ache,' [pauses for a second] 'I'm only four!' The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better!
Frank Cross
Bill Murray · 17 quotes
Ghost of Christmas Past
David Johansen · 4 quotes
Most scenes together: Frank Cross & Ghost of Christmas Past (3)
Scrooged quotes
Page 1 of 2
Elliot Loudermilk
Hello wabbit.
[after driving harmlessly through a van]
GO BACK TO JERSEY, YA MORON! [laughs]
Sometimes, you have to SLAP them in the face just to get their attention!
James Cross [last lines]
My brother, The King of Christmas.
Promo Announcer
The night the reindeer died!
Lew
Oh, Frank. Frank, you are in trouble. Big trouble.
All right. Let's just say, for argument's sake, that you're right, that I am in big trouble. What exactly would that mean?
Lew
Look at me. Look at your future. Now, if you don't change your ways, you're gonna wind up doomed, just as I am. [pats his chest, sending dust flying, and coughs] One minute, I'm on the 14th hole at Winged Foot, lining up a putt. A heart attack later, I'm a worm feast.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're not a worm feast. [pointing at him] You're a HALLUCINATION, brought on by alcohol! Russian vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl! I'm under a lot of pressure lately, I've been putting on a big-
Lew
[grabs his hand]
SILENCE!
Ow...
Lew
I had it all. I was a captain of industry, feared by men, adored by women.
Lew
I'm warning you, Frank: don't waste your life as I did mine.
Waste? How can you say that?! You're a legend in this business! You're the man who invented the miniseries!
Lew
Mankind should have been my business! Charity, mercy, kindness - that should have been my business. Don't wait. Get yourself involved. Now it's too late for me, but it's not for you. You can be saved!
Elliot
Hello, IBC program room.
Preston This is Rhinelander. Who's the idiot that put that nut on the air?
Elliot
Oh, uh, Brice Cummings is the idiot, sir, but uh... he can't talk to you right now because he's sorta tied up. Uh-huh. Oh, in fact, he just said that you were a flatulating butthead?
Preston A butthead?
Elliot
He said he never felt that way about a man before, but you really looked good in a suit.
[Preston angrily kicks one of the cats]
Grace, put yourself down for a towel, too.
Grace What about my bonus?
Towel and a facecloth.
I want to see her nipples.
Censor Lady But this is a Christmas show.
Well, Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples!
Carpenter
You can barely see them nipples.
See? And these guys are really looking!
I am the youngest president in the history of television for a reason: I know the people.
Elliot
Well, uh... granted but the people already wanna watch the show.
That isn't good enough! They have got to be so scared to miss it! So terrified! Now if I were in charge, and I am. [laughs. IBC Executive laughs along with him but Frank looks at him and he shuts up] Perhaps I can help you. Here's the kind of thing I would have done. Grace, cue it up.
Scrooge Promo Announcer
[Frank stands in front of the screens. Thunder sounds and ominous music start playing]
Acid rain.
Scrooge Promo Announcer
[Images and sounds of people screaming; Frank makes a screaming face]
Drug addictions.
Scrooge Promo Announcer
[Shows a guy groaning and shooting up on heroin. Scene changes to a jet taking off]
International terrorism.
Scrooge Promo Announcer
[Jet blows up in midair. Scene changes to a guy pulling a shotgun out of a car]
Freeway killers.
Scrooge Promo Announcer
[Guy with shotgun fires]
Now more than ever...
Scrooge Promo Announcer
Don't miss Charles Dickens' immortal classic Scrooge. Your life...
[Promo holds on the image of a nuclear explosion. Frank takes a sip of coffee and looks at the executives]
Not bad, huh?
I get it. You're here to show me my past, and I'm supposed to get all dully-eyed and mushy. Well, forget it, pal, you got the wrong guy!
That's exactly what Attila the Hun said. But when he saw his mother... Niagara Falls!
I'm gonna give you a little advice, Claire... Scrape 'em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself!
Claire Oh, well, that's a really nice attitude on Christmas Eve!
Same old Claire... still trying to save the world.
Claire You still trying to run it?
You left Claire for Frisbee the dog? Frank, let me sum this up for you: you don't know who you are, you don't know what you want, and you don't know what the hell is going on!
I've made a few mistakes. I gotta live with that. But I do know who I am, I know what I want, and I know what's going on!
[the Ghost has disappeared into a monitor, and whistles to get his attention]
Hey, Frank! Up here!
What's going on?
How should I know? I'm just the ghost! So long, sucker!