[to the class on his first day]

OK, Teach. Teach. Teach. Alright, look, here’s the deal. I’ve got a hangover. Who knows what that means?

Doesn't that mean you’re drunk?

No. It means I was drunk yesterday.

It means you're an alcoholic.

Wrong.

You wouldn't come to work unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease!

Mmm-hmm. What's your name?

Freddy Jones.

Mmm, Freddy Jones, shut up!