N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

School of Rock

School of Rock quotes

35 total quotes

View Quote Gabe: We were just discussing testing. Which test do you find most effective, the TAAS or the Wilson-Binet?
Dewey: I say no testing, and I will tell you why, Joe.
Gabe: Gabe.
Dewey: Gabe. I believe... that the children are the future. Now listen, you can teach them well, but buddy, you have got to let them lead the way. Let the children's laughter...just remind us of how we used to be. That's what I decided long ago.
Bob: [realizes what Dewey just said are some of the lyrics to the song "The Greatest Love of All"] Isn't that a song?
Dewey: No, uh, I don't think so. No, no it isn't.
Bob: No? Are you sure?
Dewey: Mmm-mmm.
View Quote Michelle: Mr. S? We came up with some names for the band.
Dewey: Yeah? Hit me.
Eleni: The Bumblebees?
Dewey: No, it's sissy.
Eleni: The Koala Bears?
Dewey: No! What are you talkin' about? It's too sissy!
View Quote Mullins: [about the teachers] They hate me.
Dewey: No, they don't.
Mullins: Yes, they do, I can see. I wasn't always like this, you know, I wasn't always wound this tight. There was a time where I was fun. I was funny! I was. But you can't be funny and be the principal of a prep school! No, you cannot. Because when it comes to their kids, these parents have no sense of humor. No. And if something goes wrong its my head in the smasher. And these parents will come down on me like a nuclear bomb! I can't make a mistake! I gotta be perfect! And that pressure has turned me into something that I never wanted to be...! [mouths "a bitch"]
Dewey: No, you're not.
Mullins: Yes, I am. I am a big one!
View Quote Mullins: In your experience, how does Horace Green compare to the other schools that you’ve taught at?
Dewey: Oh, your school is the best.
Mullins: You're just saying that.
Dewey: I'm not. Do you know that kids at other schools just have fun all the time? They're running around. There's no discipline. They're happy. It's anarchy. This is the best school I have ever teached at. I swear.
View Quote Mullins: Mr. Schneebly... This is considered the best elementary school in the state and we maintain that reputation by adhering to a strict code of conduct, faculty included.
Dewey: You know what? You don't have to worry about me 'cos i'm tough. If a kid gets outta line, I got no problem, smackin' 'em in the head.
Mullins: No. No, we don't use corporal punishment here.
Dewey: Okay, so just... verbal abuse?
View Quote Ned: [as he opens his mail] What are you all dressed up for?
Dewey: Uh, I got a hot date.
Ned: That's weird. I got a check from Horace Green Prep for $1,200. I've never even worked there. [picks up the phone and starts dialing Horace Green]
Dewey: What are you doing?
Ned: Calling the school. [speaks into phone] Hi, this is Ned Schneebly. Um... [Dewey breaks the call; Ned eyes him suspiciously] Dewey? What's going on?
Dewey: I told them 15 times, make it out to cash!
Ned: [hangs up the phone] Dewey?
Dewey: I did something bad, Ned.
Ned: No...
Dewey: Yeah. They called, looking for a sub, and I said I was you, just to make some money. But then I got there, and the kids--they rock, man! There's this kid, Larry, who's like, "I'm not cool," but now he's like... [scatting] And there's this other girl who can sing like... [humming] But then she thought she was too fat to sing, so they were all dying of this rare blood disease, and then the principal got drunk. And now, we're playing tomorrow at Battle of the Bands! Isn't that great? It's the coolest thing that ever happened! One day, that's all I ask, Ned. And then I will come clean. I'll tell everyone it was my fault, you had nothing to do with it, you'll be fine, one day!
Patty: [walks in] Ned, home.
Dewey: [lowers his voice] Don't say anything to her. Please? She'll blow it. She'll blow everything. Please?
Patty: [walks into the room; looks at Dewey and Ned suspiciously] Hey. What's going on?
Dewey: [casually] Nothing. I got a hot date, that's what's going on. [mouths and makes gestures at Ned to keep quiet] See you later. [leaves]
Patty: What's going on, Ned?
Ned: [grins sheepishly] Nothing.
Patty: Nothing? Well...
View Quote Patty: He is a lazy freeloader, and it's time for all this dysfunction to stop.
Ned: Keep it... Can't we just do this later? I mean, you know how he gets in the morning.
Patty: Ned, aren't you tired of letting people push you around?
Ned: Yes. [sighs]
Patty: Then get in there and do it! [Ned refuses, so Patty pulls the curtain aside]
Dewey: [wakes up] What? What is it?
Ned: Dewey, hey, it's the first of the month, and, uh, I would like your share of the rent now, please.
Dewey: Oh, man! You know I don't have it! You wake me up for that? Come on, man! [falls back asleep]
Ned: Sorry. [Patty glares at him fiercely; more sternly] Dewey! I mean, you owe me a lot of money as it is.
Patty: Yeah, try $2,200!
Dewey: Okay, you guys, the band is about to hit it bigtime. We're gonna win Battle of the Bands, and when I'm rolling in the Benjamins, I will throw you and your dog a bone. Good night.
Patty: Oh, give it up! Your band has never made two cents!
Ned: Patty, come on! I'm on this!
Patty: Oh, you're on this? You're on this? He's walking all over you!
Dewey: Mommy, could we please talk about this later?
Patty: Uh, no, we can't talk about it later because Ned and I have to go to work. We have jobs. We contribute to society, all right? I am an assistant to the mayor of the city. "Hello?!"
Dewey: What?! Can you get her out of here, please? Why?! Why her?!
Patty: And Ned has the most important job there is.
Dewey: Temping?
Ned: Dewey, a substitute teacher is not a temp!
Dewey: He's a babysitter!
Ned: Oh, yeah, you think it's so easy? Well, I'd like to see you try. You wouldn't last one day.
Dewey: Dude, I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rockin' ain't no walk in the park, lady!
Patty: All right, this is useless, all right? You tell him that if he doesn't come up with the rent by the end of the week, he's out of here!
Ned: Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so... I don't know, I mean, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.
Dewey: What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?
Patty: Oh, my God, he's an idiot! [leaves]
Dewey: Dude, I've been mooching off you for years, and it's never been a problem until she showed up. Just dump her, man!
Ned: Yeah, well, if you don't come up with some money, she's gonna dump me. She's fed up.
Dewey: Really? Because that would be a good thing! She's a nightmare!
Ned: Come on! I may never have another girlfriend! I mean, just come on! Come up with some money, please! Please!
Dewey: Okay, for you. Not for her, man, for you.
Ned: Thank you.
View Quote Summer: What's wrong?
Dewey: 'What's wrong?' Summer, didn't you hear we lost?!
Freddy: Chill out, dude. Rock isn't about getting an A. Sex Pistols never won anything.
Lawrence: Don't let the Man get you down.
Zack: You gotta cheer up, we played a great show.
Dewey: We did, didn't we? It was unbelievable, wasn't it?!
Summer: Yeah.
View Quote Tomika: Mr. S, I don't think I can sing.
Dewey: What're you talkin' about? C'mere.
Dewey: Listen, Tomika, what's going on? What do you mean, you can't sing?
Tomika: I don't feel good. I feel sick. Just let Alicia and Marta do it.
Dewey: No! They can't sing like you can, I need you in the chorus! What is it, are you nervous?
[Tomika nods]
Dewey: Yeah? Why? What are you afraid of?
Tomika: They're gonna laugh at me.
Dewey: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno. 'Cause I'm fat?
Dewey: Tomika... Hey, you've got something everybody wants: You've got talent, girl! You have an incredible singing voice, and I'm not just saying that. You've heard of Aretha Franklin, right? Okay, she's a big lady. But when she starts singing, she blows people's minds! Everybody wants to party with Aretha! And, uh, you know who else has a weight issue?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey: Me. But once I get up on stage and start rockin', people worship me! Because I'm sexy! And chubby, man.
Tomika: Why aren't you on a diet?
Dewey: Because I like to eat. Is that such a crime? Look, you know what? That's not even the point. The thing is, you're a rock star now. All you gotta do is just go out there and rock your heart out. People are gonna dig you, I swear. Let's go out there and show 'em what we got, what do you say?
View Quote [Billy has just showed off his completed stage outfits for Katie and Freddy]
Dewey: I dunno... They might be a little distracting...
Billy: It's glitter-rock, and it's glam, and it's fabulous!
Dewey: Billy, it's just not the right style.
Billy: Style? You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself! Look at that bow tie!
Dewey: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie!
Billy: You know what? I give up, they can just wear their uniforms.
Dewey: That's not a bad idea...
View Quote [Dewey and Mullins arrive at Horace Green for Parents' Night]
Dewey: Okay, I don't think I can go in there.
Mullins: What's wrong?
Dewey: Roz... I'm not a teacher.
Mullins: Oh, Ned, a substitute is a teacher.
Dewey: No, no, I'm not a teacher. I'm a fraud.
Mullins: No! You're not! You're a dedicated, talented teacher, and those parents are gonna love you! Now, just get in there, and tell those parents what you've been teaching their kids.
View Quote [Dewey is on the phone, trying to sell one of his guitars]
Dewey: Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah, it's a 1968 Gibson SG, mint condish. [pause] No. That's all? Well, that's a mistake. No, Hendrix played this guitar. [the person on the other end hangs up] Hello?!
[Dewey hangs up. The phone rings; Dewey answers it]
Dewey: Yeah?
Mullins: Is this Mr. Schneebly?
Dewey: No, he's not here.
Mullins: Oh, could you take a message for me?
Dewey: Um... Yeah.
Mullins: Hi, my name's Rosalie Mullins. I'm the principal here at Horace Green Prep, and we're having a little emergency here; one of our teachers broke her leg on the way to school this morning, and all of our subs are already working. Pat Wickam at Milton Prep recommended I give Mr. Schneebly a call. Do you know if he's available?
Dewey: Um... How long is the gig?
Mullins: Excuse me?
Dewey: Uh, how long is the job?
Mullins: My guess is as much as a few weeks, but we do need somebody to start immediately.
Dewey: Mmm-hmm. So how much are we talkin' here?
Mullins: We pay our substitutes 650 a week. Now, do you know when Mr. Schneebly will be back?
Dewey: Hold on a sec... Oh, you know what? I think he's just comin' in right about... Ned, phone! [pretends to pass the phone, then speaks in a deep voice] Hello, this is Ned Schneebly.
View Quote [Dewey leads the class to his own version of The Pledge of Allegiance]
Dewey: I pledge allegiance...
Class: I pledge allegiance...
Dewey: the band...
Class: the band...
Dewey: ...of Mr. Schneebly...
Class: ...of Mr. Schneebly...
Dewey: ...and will not fight him...
Class: ...and will not fight him...
Dewey: ...for creative control...
Class: ...for creative control...
Dewey: ...and will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band. [class mumbles incoherently] LET'S GET ROCKIN'!!!! [class cheers]
View Quote [Dewey starts lying to the parents about what he's been teaching their kids]
Dewey: Yeah, you know, uh, math, English... Uh... What else? Science... What else? Geography, history, Latin, Spanish, French, Latin, uh, math... Did I say that already? Anyway, you know, just all the stuff you want your kids to know, it's been covered, okay? So... it was great to meet you all, and, uh, [clicks tounge] drive safe.
Zack's Father: Excuse me. Ever since you started teaching here, all my son can talk about is music. He says when he grows up, he wants to be a musician. Is this your influence?
Summer's Mother: Yeah, what...? Mr. Schneebly, why has my daughter become obsessed with David Geffen?
Lawrence's Father: [holds up a copy of Yes's "Fragile"] And how is this homework?
Dewey: Okay, see, I would like to tell you about what we've been doing in here, but there's such a thing as teacher-student confidentiality, and I don't want to be in breach of educational law 'cause I could be dismembered by the teacher's union. So...
Zack's Father: You expect us to believe this garbage?
[Dewey looks out in the hallway and sees a cop]
Tomika: Mr. S, don't you think you should just tell them about the project?
Tomika's Mother: What project?
Lawrence: Our class project. Every school in the state is competing.
Lawrence's Father: Competing?
Summer: It's not till next quarter, but Mr. S wanted us to get a head start.
Summer's Mother: Well, what's the project, Summer?
[Dewey sees the cop talking with Patty]
Summer: It's prestigious. A win will go on our permanent record, Mom.
Summer's Mother: Oh.
Summer: You might as well tell 'em, Mr. Schneebly.
Dewey: Okay, look, I've gotten to know your kids over the past few weeks, and they are awesome. Zack is an insane guitarist. He's the next Hendrix, and he's 10 years old. And Gordon here, he's a genius! He did a whole professional light show on his computer in three days. And, um... [Ned looks at Dewey as the cop continues talking with Patty] And-and-and-and Marta here, she's-she's-she's... She can hit an A above high C. Did you know that? 'Cause that's tough. Not many singers can do that. And-and, uh... [Mullins and another cop get in on the conversation between Patty, Ned, and the first cop] Uh... Uh... Summer... Summer is gonna be the first woman President of the United States of America, and she could run later this year even, and I would vote for her. Look, you guys, they're just all really cool kids. And if they were mine, I would be so proud. And I am proud, just to even know them. And, um...
Cop: Sir, can I see you in the hall for a moment?
Dewey: Can I just...? Let me just say a couple more things.
Zack's Father: What's going on?
Summer's Mother: What's happening, Officer?
Cop: Apparently, that man is not Ned Schneebly.
Parents: What?
Cop: This man is Ned Schneebly.
Patty: Yeah, he's not even a teacher!
Dewey: You called the cops?!
Ned: [points to Patty] She did. She got it out of me. Sorry.
Patty: You're apologizing to him?!
Ned: Sorry.
Mullins: [to Dewey] Ned... [looks at the real Ned, then Dewey] Ned, is this true? Who are you?
Dewey: My name is Dewey Finn. And no, I'm not a licensed teacher, but I have been touched by your kids. And I'm pretty sure I've touched them.
[The parents start murmuring in confusion; Dewey flees]
View Quote [Dewey's lounging at his desk]
Michelle: Are you going to teach us anything? Or are we just going to sit here?
Dewey: [mumbles] Just do whatever you want.
Summer: I want to learn from my teacher.
Dewey: [loudly] Besides that! Freddy, what do you like to do?
Freddy: [drawing flames on the name tag on his desk] I dunno... burn stuff?