N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Ned: [as he opens his mail] What are you all dressed up for?
Dewey: Uh, I got a hot date.
Ned: That's weird. I got a check from Horace Green Prep for $1,200. I've never even worked there. [picks up the phone and starts dialing Horace Green]
Dewey: What are you doing?
Ned: Calling the school. [speaks into phone] Hi, this is Ned Schneebly. Um... [Dewey breaks the call; Ned eyes him suspiciously] Dewey? What's going on?
Dewey: I told them 15 times, make it out to cash!
Ned: [hangs up the phone] Dewey?
Dewey: I did something bad, Ned.
Ned: No...
Dewey: Yeah. They called, looking for a sub, and I said I was you, just to make some money. But then I got there, and the kids--they rock, man! There's this kid, Larry, who's like, "I'm not cool," but now he's like... [scatting] And there's this other girl who can sing like... [humming] But then she thought she was too fat to sing, so they were all dying of this rare blood disease, and then the principal got drunk. And now, we're playing tomorrow at Battle of the Bands! Isn't that great? It's the coolest thing that ever happened! One day, that's all I ask, Ned. And then I will come clean. I'll tell everyone it was my fault, you had nothing to do with it, you'll be fine, one day!
Patty: [walks in] Ned, home.
Dewey: [lowers his voice] Don't say anything to her. Please? She'll blow it. She'll blow everything. Please?
Patty: [walks into the room; looks at Dewey and Ned suspiciously] Hey. What's going on?
Dewey: [casually] Nothing. I got a hot date, that's what's going on. [mouths and makes gestures at Ned to keep quiet] See you later. [leaves]
Patty: What's going on, Ned?
Ned: [grins sheepishly] Nothing.
Patty: Nothing? Well...

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