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(pointing at a man's toupee) That's not fooling anyone.
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(standing on stairs telling future to man walking out of restroom) You're getting lucky tonight. (to "woman" walking out behind him, holding his hand) He doesn't know you're a guy.
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(telling future to a pregnant woman) It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole.
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Cindy, the news is on! Another little white girl done fell down a well. Fifty black people got they ass beat by police today, but the whole world gotta stop for one little whitey down the hole!
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Hell with you.
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I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself. Or this chair. I call her... Linda.
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I just got a weird feeling something bad is heading my way. Like when you see an Asian person behind the wheel of a car.
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My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I.
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She scared the horses, killed the puppies, hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife killed her by drowning her in a nearby well. I thought a time-out would have been fine.
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Smoke all you want. You're going to get hit by a bus.
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[After accidentally killing Tom's wife with his truck] Tom, I'm gonna need a ride home.
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[after the rappers kill each other in a shoot-out] These men died for their country; send flowers to their bitches and hos.
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[after watching a rap battle] I thought you were both absolutely dreadful. Ghastly. I don't know what I'm doing here. This club is totally pathetic. [both rappers pull out their guns and shoot him].
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[Holding Michael Jackson outside of a window] How do you like it?