Tzekel-Kan And so dawns the age of the Jaguar. Happy New Year.
3rd most-quoted character in The Road to El Dorado (2000): in 21 of its 120 quotes
Most scenes with: Tulio (4), Miguel (2), Chel (2)
Do you wish to have your victims bound to an altar, or would you prefer them free range? And will you be devouring their essence whole, or piece-by-piece?
More lines from Tzekel-Kan
14 quotes Tzekel-Kan Tzekel-Kan Smile while you can.
Tzekel-Kan Crush them into the dust!
Tzekel-Kan As the… gods… command.
Tzekel-Kan I know what you are. And I know what you are not. And you are not gods!
Tzekel-Kan Well, as speaker for the gods, it would be my privilege to point them out.
Tzekel-Kan My Lord, these people will not respect if they do not fear you.
Tzekel-Kan [first words]
Behold! As the prophesies foretold, the time of judgement is now! Citizens, did I not predict that the gods would come to us?
Tzekel-Kan O mighty lords! Come. Let me show you to your temple.
Tzekel-Kan To commemorate your arrival, I propose a reverent ceremony at dawn.
Tzekel-Kan But in your perfection, you cannot know how imperfect humans are. They're like snakes, they are, spineless and slippery. They are as untrustworthy as rats, stealing and cheating, with no remorse. Spinning webs of lies, like spiders!
Tzekel-Kan [last words]
Wait! NO, WAIT! WAIT!
Tzekel-Kan Now everyone will know the truth of your divinity.
Tzekel-Kan Finally, we're connecting.
Scenes with Tzekel-Kan
6 scenes
Tzekel-Kan [Miguel rescues the intended victim and drags him to safety.]
You do not want the tribute?
No no, we want tribute. It's just that, um... Tulio, tell him.
The stars are not in position for this tribute!
Like he said! Stars! … Can't do it… Not today.
Tzekel-Kan The history of the age of the Jaguar will be written in...
Ink?
Tzekel-Kan Blood!
Tzekel-Kan [Chel and Tulio kiss heavily off-screen.]
My Lords? [Chel stops kissing Tulio and sits up in horror. Tulio comes up, and his hair and face are messed up.] Hello?
Ow!
J-Just- just- just... [frustratedly fixes Tulio's hair] Ohh!
Tzekel-Kan Hello? [Chel kicks Tulio toward Tzekel-Kan]
Whoa! Oh, Tzekel-Kan! What brings you here?
Tzekel-Kan I humbly request to have an audience with you, my lord.
Lord, yes. What can I do for you?
Tzekel-Kan My Lord, I have just seen Lord Miguel out among the people.
Really?
Tzekel-Kan If I may be so bold as to offer some advice?
Tzekel-Kan [Chel facepalms and groans in frustration. Tzekel-Kan fails to notice this]
My Lord, you are perfect.
Oh. Well, go on.
Tzekel-Kan But in your perfection, you cannot know how imperfect humans are. [begins to conjure menacing images] They're like snakes, they are, spineless and slippery. They are as untrustworthy as rats, stealing and cheating, with no remorse. [takes a bite out of a conjured pear then spits it out] Spinning webs of lies, like spiders! [crushes a conjured spider in his hand]
Tzekel-Kan [makes all the conjured images vanish]
They're beyond disgusting!
Yeah, yeah! Way beyond!
Tzekel-Kan Then we're in agreement, I shall think the proper preparations. Now, do you wish to have your victims bound to altar, or would you prefer them free range? And will you devour their essence whole, or piece-by-piece?
Tzekel-Kan My Lord, these people will not respect if they do not fear you.
And, of course, we will make them fear us, by, uh--
Tzekel-Kan By sacrifice! As it is prophesied, the history of the Age of the Jaguar will be written in--
Ink?
Tzekel-Kan Blood!
Blood! Oh! Oh, yes. This is very important stuff. I should tell Lord Miguel about this blood issue right away. [to Chel] Come on, honey. Let's go.
Tzekel-Kan [relieved]
Finally, we're connecting.
Tzekel-Kan Do you know why the gods demand [?] blood?
I don't know.
Tzekel-Kan [the knife cuts the hand as wipes the blood with a rockstone]
Because "Gods... don't... bleed..." [the blood goes back inside the hand] It's time to take the future into my own hands, and this city will be cleansed. Even if I have to do it myself.
Uh, how?
Tzekel-Kan [grabs a book]
There are dark magics here, and power, and... Ooh. My, my, my, my, my. [throws a book to Acolyte] It's not called the "Age of the Jaguar" for nothing. [looking at the men, building a boat] This'll be a delightful way to bid the false gods, good-bye.
Tzekel-Kan [cut back to Tzekel-Kan and Acolyte, humming, then Acolyte stirs it in a pot]
Well, is it ready yet?
Tzekel-Kan [Acolyte scoops the bowl, blowing it, then taking the umbrella, putting it in, then Tzekel-Kan takes the bowl, sniffing] [throws the bowl away]
It seems to be missing something. [opens a book] Ah, that's it. It needs more body. [kicks Acolyte into the water, flying backwards to a stone, laughing, transforming into a jaguar, taking the claws out, then the jaguar lands on the ground, breaking the stone] Do as I command!
[Miguel walks away by Altivo, then Altivo looks at Miguel walking away]
Whoa. Whoa, boy, what is it? [Altivo nickers, then they hear explosions, looking at Miguel along with Chel and Tulio]
Cortes.
Man
[panicked]
Chief Tanni! Chief Tanni! Approaching the city, is an army of strangers.
We are safe here. They'll never find the gate to the city.
Man
But, sire, they are being led by Tzekel-Kan.
Then how can we stop them?
We can't.
Uh-huh. And?
Here's the gate.
Okay.
Here's the boat.
Got that. And?
Well, here's the "goat," and here's the "bate."
Tulio!
[Tulio his Bibo, who stops drinking his cup, spilling water out, knocking the necklace] [gasping]
That's it. We'll crash the boat into the pillars.
That's it? I mean... But... [scoffs] What about the gold?
Well... [sobbing, in a whinny voice] Chief! [clears throat, in a normal voice] Chief. I've got a plan.
Cortes
[cut to Crotes and the guards, and Tzekel-Kan]
It better be there, for your sake.
[Tulio rows a boat, then Chel shakes her head, looking at Miguel]
Okay, chief, on my signal! Ready! HIT THE PILLARS!
NOW!
[the man uses a log to push and break the whole rocks, then Tulio looks at the whole rocks breaking]
They're breaking too fast!
Tulio, the sail!
[the men try to pull a statue, breaking the ropes, then they both shout, then Chief gasps, grabbing the ropes]
They're not gonna make it. Altivo! [jumps on Altivo, running to the boat]
Are you crazy?
[Miguel and Altivo jump on the boat in slow motion, then they continue pulling, then flying in slow motion, grabbing the sail]
Get off the boat, Miguel, or you'll never see the city again.
I know. [takes the hat off] You don't think I'm gonna let you have all the fun, do you? Come on. We've got a wave to catch. [grabs a paddle to Tulio, pointing to Chief]
[they all release the statue, then Miguel yells, then Chel whimpers, then grabbing a lever]
Get out of the way!
Huh?
Huh?
[they all go in the cave, breaking the sail, then knocking the gold on the walls]
We're gonna have to hit it BROADSIDE!
THAT'S YOUR PLAN? But the gold!
I know!
[the boat stops on a wall, then they all jump out of the boat, then they splash in the water, with rocks falling in the water, with waterfall spitting out, then they all cough] [panting]
We made it. It worked. [chuckling] It worked.
Wait. Get down! [grabs Tulio] There they are. [they all look at Cortes and Tzekel-Kan]
Tzekel-Kan [gasping, looking at the rocks]
No.
Cortes
[walks to Tzekel-Kan]
You lying heathen. There's nothing here at all.
Tzekel-Kan No. Wait. Wait.
Cortes
[pushes Tzekel-Kan]
Men, seize him!
Tzekel-Kan WHAT? [the men grab Tzekel-Kan]
Cortes
There is no El Dorado here. Onward, men. [the guards continues takes Tzekel-Kan away, gasps, then Chel waves]
Tzekel-Kan [to guards]
Wait! No, wait! [echoes] WAIT!
