Okay. Good. You've done the old man's car bit. That's a good start. Now, try this on for size. [reading from the personals] "The Leather Castle. Chicago's finest dominants and submissives. Fully equipped dungeons. Beginners welcome."

It sounds great, Miles.

Here's one! "My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place? Call Misty." Come on, Joel. You've got to take advantage of this! They come to your house! "Countess Angelique seeks young submissive with large ankles!" This is it! "For a good time in the privacy of your own home, call Jackie: 555-1247." Succinct, to the point, down to business. What do you say?

If you want to call, call for yourself.

A good time, Joel! In the privacy of your own home! What else can you ask for?

I'll make my own calls, thank you.

Then...call!

Forget it!

All right! I'm calling.

You're calling?

Someday you'll thank me for this.

You'd better not mention me.

It's her answering machine. Hi, Jackie, this is Joel Goodson, 525 Remson, Glencoe. I'd like a good time in my home tonight. Bye!

That was really cute. Now, give me the number so I can call her back.

Number? There's no number?

Give me the number, damn it!

I'm telling you, [eats the paper] there's no number.

You're an asshole!

Gotta go. Catch you later.

Shithead!