Risky Business 1983 quotes, page 3

Lana

This is a beautiful place, Ralph. Is it all yours?

It's my folks', actually.

Lana

Do you know what it's worth?

A lot, probably.

Lana

Oh, yeah! Real estate? It's fabulous!

Look, Lana... uh, my name isn't really Ralph. It's Joel.

Lana

Mmmm. I'll be needing 300 bucks...Joel.

You're kidding.

Lana

No, I don't believe that I am.

Can I send it to you?

Lana

Can you send it to me, Joel?

Well, uh, it's just that I don't have that much here in the house.

Lana

How much do you have?

I have 50 dollars.

Lana

50 dollars? What are we going to do about this, Joel?

I don't know.

I, uh, have a bond at the bank. I could go cash that.

Lana

I'm not good at waiting for people.

I'll be quick.

Lana

Give it a try.

Miles

No guts, Goodson.

The problem was I just wasn't attracted to her.

Miles

That should never stop you.

She seemed too big.

Miles

It could've worked out.

I thought I'd get into trouble.

Miles

Sometimes you have to say, "What the ****!" Make your move!

That's easy for you to say. You're all set. You're probably going to Harvard. Me, I don't want to make a mistake, jeopardize my future!

Miles

Joel, let me tell you something. Every now and then, say "What the ****." "What the ****" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future... So your parents are going out of town. You got the place all to yourself.

Yeah.

Miles

What the ****...If you can't say it, you can't do it.

Miles

Okay. Good. You've done the old man's car bit. That's a good start. Now, try this on for size. [reading from the personals] "The Leather Castle. Chicago's finest dominants and submissives. Fully equipped dungeons. Beginners welcome."

It sounds great, Miles.

Miles

Here's one! "My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place? Call Misty." Come on, Joel. You've got to take advantage of this! They come to your house! "Countess Angelique seeks young submissive with large ankles!" This is it! "For a good time in the privacy of your own home, call Jackie: 555-1247." Succinct, to the point, down to business. What do you say?

If you want to call, call for yourself.

Miles

A good time, Joel! In the privacy of your own home! What else can you ask for?

I'll make my own calls, thank you.

Miles

Then...call!

Forget it!

Miles

All right! I'm calling.

You're calling?

Miles

Someday you'll thank me for this.

You'd better not mention me.

Miles

It's her answering machine. Hi, Jackie, this is Joel Goodson, 525 Remson, Glencoe. I'd like a good time in my home tonight. Bye!

That was really cute. Now, give me the number so I can call her back.

Miles

Number? There's no number?

Give me the number, damn it!

Miles

I'm telling you, [eats the paper] there's no number.

You're an asshole!

Miles

Gotta go. Catch you later.

Shithead!

Miles

What happened?

Last night?

Miles

That's right, with Kessler.

She was babysitting down the street.

Miles

We know that.

So, I went over there. She was giving the kid a bath and accidentally hit the shower thing. All of her clothes were drying upstairs.

Miles

'[laughing] It could happen.

So she plops down on the kitchen floor and she looks up at me and says "I think I'm in the mood."

Barry

She said that? What did you say?

I didn't have to say anything.

Barry

What did you do?

What do you think I did?

Glenn

I think you got the hell out of there...ran home, and whacked off.

With Kessler just lying there, just wanting me??

Miles

I disagree.

Thanks.

Miles

Did you have your bike?

Yeah.

Miles

I think you got on your bike, pedaled home...and whacked off.
[Everyone laughs]

Joel's Father: Haven't I been telling you. Every once in awhile you just got to say, "what the heck" and take some chances.

You are so right.

It was great the way her mind worked: No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialties. Just this shameless pursuit of immediate material gratification. What a capitalist! She told me I could make more money in one night than I'd make all year. Enough to pay for my father's car. She told me she'd be my girlfriend. She told me a lot of things. I believed them all. So, she introduced me to her friends. I introduced her to my friends.

All I'm saying is... walk like a man.

Lana

I'm really trying to be friends with you. But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop laying these little judgments on me while you're leaning on your daddy's $40,000 car.

It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word.

Lock the door when you leave, Glenn. If you read me, grunt twice!

My name is Joel Goodsen. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh, kid?

The evening worked out well. We had a good cash flow. Rutherford made a few new friends. He said he'd do his best for me. Finally, it was time to close shop. The girls were exhausted. Lana was hungry. She wanted to go out for a bite. She wanted to make love on a real train. Who was I to say no?

You know what he said afterwards? He said the lady had knowledge. He was glad to get the knowledge. Do you know why? Because college women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.

The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are you doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.