A character in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Scrum quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Stephen Graham

Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017): in 3 of its 29 quotes
Most scenes with: Captain Jack Sparrow (3), Carina (2)

Scenes with Scrum

3 scenes
Scrum
[After seeing that the bank vault Jack's crew have stolen is empty]

It's empty! [the crew groan] Where's the dosh?!

Do you think that robbing a bank is easy? You gaggle of gutless heels of the womb's guilty of putting me in this dreadful pickle in the first place! Now line up and offer me your tribute.

Marty
[He and the other crew members scoff in outrage]

You want us to pay YOU?!

Am I not the captain of this ship?

Cremble

You call THIS a ship?

Bollard

Where's the treasure?

Pike

All of us are starving!

Bollard

We will no longer follow a captain without a ship.

I HAVE a ship! [Reveals the Black Pearl in a bottle] Black Pearl's never left me side.

Pike

The pirate Barbossa rules these seas now. Has ten ships, guns full.

Cremble

Not to mention his cannonballs; 18 pounds each, they say.

One-legged man with 18 pound balls? That's why he walks funny. [The crew sigh in disappointment] Oh, come, come, mates! Did we not find the treasure of Macedonia together?

Cremble

It was a troll of rotten wood!

Gold of King Midas!

Scrum

Pile of donkey dung!

[Grunts in frustration]
Gibbs

Face it, Jack, bad luck dogs you day and night.

That is a blatant fabrication! [Bird poop lands on Jack's shoulder]

Cremble

You've lost your luck.

Bollard

You've lost your ship.

Marty

And now, you've lost your crew.

Pike

Jack Sparrow is no longer our captain! [The crew leaves the Dying Gull as Gibbs approach Jack]

Gibbs
[Sympathetic]

I'm sorry, Jack, but we've reached the end of the horizon. [Pats Jack's shoulder and then follows the crew, leaving Jack stunned and heartbroken]

Right then! [Yelling] YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED!!! EH?! ALL OF YOU, DISMISSED!!! YOU'LL NEVER SAIL WITH CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW AGAIN, TELL YOU THAT!!!

My calculations are precise and true. I'm not just an astronomer. I'm also a horologist.

No shame in that, dear. We all have to make a living.

No, I'm a horologist.

Scrum

So was my mum. Although she didn't crow about it quite as loud as you.

Pike

We should have never followed a luckless pirate and a witch to sea.

Bollard

Right, that's it. Kill 'em all.

Kill me and I'll be dead. And then the other dead won't be able to have their revenge… against me. Being dead.

Scrum

What?

Henry

Which will anger them even more. He's right.

That's right.

Are all pirates this stupid?

Scrum

Yeah.

Bollard

Yeah.

Other characters in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

More Stephen Graham characters