The Count Because if you shoot a bullet, someone dies. When you drop a bomb, many die. You hit a woman, love dies. But if you say the f-word, nothing actually happens.
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Pirate Radio (a.k.a. The Boat That Rocked) (2009): in 5 of its 20 quotes
Most scenes with: Thick Kevin (2), Angus (2)
You know, a few months ago, I made a terrible mistake. I realized something, and instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I... I let it hang on, and now I know it to be true. And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever. These are the best days of our lives. It's a terrible thing to know, but I know it.
More lines from The Count
2 quotes The Count The Count To all our listeners, this is what I have to say - God bless you all. And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. Years will come, years will go, and politicians will do **** all to make the world a better place. But all over the world, young men and young women will always dream dreams and put those dreams into song. Nothing important dies tonight, just a few ugly guys on a crappy ship. The only sadness tonight is that, in future years, there'll be so many fantastic songs that it will not be our privilege to play. But, believe you me, they will still be written, they will still be sung and they will be the wonder of the world.
Scenes with The Count
2 scenes
Well, her name is Daphne.
She likes the bearded man, does she?
She does indeed.
With a tiny knob.
Whatever.
I've got a tiny knob, actually, and I rather like it. Means I can wear smaller underpants.
The Count [Stunned silence]
Don't know what that means. I didn't understand any of that.
The day has come. Tonight pirate radio dies. From midnight, we are a ghost ship floating without hope on cold and dark waters. You have done almighty work here. Thank you. But your work is done.
The Count Not mine, sir. I'm an American citizen and I don't give a hootenanny God damn about your nitpicking limey laws. I intend to broadcast from this ship 24 hours a day until the day I die. And then for a couple days after that.
Not wanting to sound rude or anything, but don't you think that might be an ever so slightly monotonous experience for the listener? What do you say to 12 hours each, noble sir?
The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?
They've split up.
I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.
I intend to stop you doing so.
Mark [silently stands up and lights a cigarette]
As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.
John I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.
Bob Silver I've got nowhere else to go.
Harold
I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.
Felicity Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.
I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.
Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.
