Smee quotes from Peter Pan (2003)

I have been HUMILIATED! No! I must become a man that children fear and adults respect, or we shall all... end up... in the street!

George, not so loud.

Aunt Millicent

George, the neighbors will hear.

Let them hear! Let the whole world know! [about Nana] This is not a nurse! This... is a :dog! [to Wendy] Tomorrow, you will begin your instruction with Aunt Millicent. It's time for you to grow up!

Was it you, Tink?

Tinker Bell

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! [transforms into an evil fairy]

Then I am your friend no more. [tosses her aside]

Wendy

Oh, how sweet. [Peter looks disgusted] What? Are mermaids not sweet?

They'll sweetly drown you if you get too close.

Look, why, it's snowing! Goodness, we'll catch our death!

Aunt Millicent

Better death than gossip!

Pirate

Beg for yer lives!

John

Sir! My brother and I are English gentlemen. English gentlemen do not [beg!]

Please! Please don't kill me!

John

Please don't kill me, either!

Wendy

Once upon a time there was a boy named Peter Pan, who decided not to grow up.

Hook

Skip the prologue

Wendy

So he flew away to Neverland where the pirates are.

Noodler

Was one of them pirates called [Noodler]?

Wendy

Yes.

Noodler

Capt'n, did you hear? I am in a story!

Hook

What fun he must have had.

Wendy

Yes but he was rather lonely.

Hook

Lonely? He needed a Wendy.

Pirate

I need a Wendy. [Hooks shoots him]

Smee

Oh, very exciting! Two dead already!

Hook

Why a Wendy?

Wendy

He liked my stories.

Hook

What stories?

Wendy

Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty.

Hook

Love stories?

Wendy

Adventures! In which good triumphs over evil!

Hook

They all end in a kiss.

Wendy

gasps

Hook

A kiss. He does feel! He feels about you. [cuts her free from the mast]She told him stories. He taught her to fly. How?

Wendy

You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air.

Hook

Alas, I have no happy thoughts.

Wendy

That brings you down!

Hook

How else?

Fairy dust! You need fairy dust!

Michael!

Hook

What of Pan? Would unhappy thoughts bring him down?

Wendy

He has no unhappy thoughts.

Aunt Millicent

Is your name Slightly?

Yes.

Aunt Millicent

Then I am your mother.

How do you know?

Aunt Millicent

I feel it in my bones.

Hook

If I were you, I would give up.

If you were me, I would be ugly!

Smee

Cap'n? Cap'n! As I was sitting wide-eyed on my watch, I noticed it was winter time on the water but springtime on the shore, I says to me self "that's early for spring to be a stir", spring's not due 'til 3 p.m, check the time yourself Cap'n and then tell-

Hook

I was dreaming, Smee, of Pan.

Smee

Pan, Cap'n?

Hook

And in my dream, I was a magnanimous fellow full of forgiveness. I thanked Pan for cutting off my hand, and to giving me this fine hook for disembowelling and ripping throats, and other such homely uses as combing my hair.

Smee

So, Pan did you a favour then, Cap'n?

A favour? [Smee gives Hook his hook] He threw my hand to a crocodile. The beast liked it so much, it's followed me ever since, licking its lips for the rest of me. [using his hook closer to Smee's face] YOU CALL THAT A FAVOUR?!?!

Smee

No, no, no, no... [Hook gently pushes the glasses with his hook] Thank you.

Hook

Thank Lucifer the beast swallowed a clock [throws the broken clock with others], if it wasn't for the ticking, it would've had me by now, why did you wake me Smee?

Smee

I said Captain, the ice is melting, the sun is out and the flowers are all in bloom.

Hook

He's back!

Smee

Sorry, Your Highness. [to the Darling boys] Any last words?

Starkey

Beg for yer lives!

John

Sir! My brother and I are English gentlemen. English gentlemen do not beg!

Please! Please! Please don't kill me!

John

Oh, please don't kill me, either!
[Tiger Lily rolls her eyes in annoyance]