N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

View Quote Wesley: Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man.
Ershon: You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here.
Wesley: Who are they?
Ershon: Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria.
Wesley: You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens?
Ershon: Yes. Yes, I do.
Wesley: You're a piece of work.
Ershon: Thank you.
View Quote [Hoitz and Gamble after interrogating Ershon]
Gamble: Look, I'm really sorry about that. I just... I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that since we're doing 'Bad cop, bad cop'".
Hoitz: What? No, I said "Good cop, bad cop". I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop.
Gamble: Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said "Bad cop, bad cop".
View Quote [Hoitz and Gamble barely survive an explosion]
Gamble: I can't hear! I can't hear! There's blood blisters on my hands! Oh, my God! How do you walk away in a movie without flinching when it explodes behind them? There's no way! I call bullshit on that! When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!
Hoitz: Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate!
View Quote [Hoitz and Gamble get attacked by masked figures on motorbikes]
Hoitz: Watch out! Columbian drug lords!
Gamble: Where are you getting this from?
[Hoitz takes them all out single-handedly]
Gamble: Wow. Imagine where you'd be if you hadn't shot Jeter.
View Quote [Hoitz throws down his computer and stomps on it in anger]
Gamble: What are you doing?
Hoitz: We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guys' lawyer!
Gamble: [in his Gator voice] Are you a big man? Huh? I'm talking to you!
Hoitz: What?
Gamble: Do you wake up in the mornin' and say, "I'm puttin on my big boy pants. Look, I'm wearin' a belt. I got big boy pants on."
Hoitz: No.
Gamble: Put on a little jacket, you go, you take you lunch cause you have big boy pants on? You got your big boy pants and your snack? I can say big loud things! I can be demonstrative!
Hoitz: Stop!
Gamble: [starts stomping on Hoitz's computer] We don't, we don't do that shit!
Hoitz: You're scarin' the shit outta me man, stop it!
Gamble: Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy?
Hoitz: What the hell are you doing, man?
Gamble: [in normal voice] I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time. It's exhausting! It's like I'm partners with the Hulk.
View Quote [The cops surround Wesley]
Martin: Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy!
Fosse: I hope you like the taste of prison food, and penis.
View Quote [They found Gamble's Prius]
Hazmat Officer: Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night.
Gamble: You find anything?
Hazmat Officer: Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. From bodily fluid and hair samples, we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.
Gamble: Oh, God.
Hazmat Officer: Yeah. You know what that's called when they do that in there? That's called a soup kitchen. It's pretty rough stuff. Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along and gave birth on the floor.
Gamble: What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints?
Hazmat Officer: Nope, couldn't get a one.
Investigator: Found a cell phone.
Gamble: Yeah, that's mine.
Hoitz: Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
Hazmat Officer: No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing. In fact, they even left you a note here. "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys." Here's something we found. We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
Gamble: It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car.
Hazmat Officer: Watch out. In the back, there's a baby mouse in a used condom. Really gross.
View Quote (in a ballet school) I think we all experienced our own ballet today. A ballet of emotion, and feelings.
View Quote (while flying in a car through the air towards several drug runners who are firing machine guns at him as he returns fire with a pistol in each hand) You have the remain...SILENT...but I wanna hear you SCREAM!
View Quote (while interrogating Ershon) I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit!
View Quote (with a gun pointed at him) Wait! Computers. What if - one day... they were in charge?
View Quote All the gun fights, all the car chases, all the sex we don't want to have with women but we have all due, to what you guys do.
View Quote And when I come back and bust your ass, we are locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve!
View Quote Ay, ay, ay! Ay, you shut your face! If we wanna hear you talk, I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!
View Quote Captain, you really want to disarm this guy? Take out the batteries in the calculator.