Oh, God! quotes

30 total quotes

Bobbie Landers
Jerry Landers

View Quote Jerry Landers: You don't control our lives?!
God: I gave you a world and everything in it. It's all up to you.

View Quote Jerry Landers: You want me to tell people I've spoken with God?
God: [speaking through Jerry's car radio] Yes.
Jerry Landers: They'll put me away.

View Quote I don't do miracles. They're too flashy. And they upset the natural balance. … The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea. That was a beauty.

View Quote I don't like to brag, but if I appeared to you just as God—how I really am, what I really am—, your mind couldn't grasp it.

View Quote I know how hard it is in these times to have faith. But maybe if you could have the faith to start with, maybe the times would change. You could change them. Think about it. Try. And try not to hurt each other. There's been enough of that. It really gets in the way. I'm a God of very few words and Jerry's already given you mine. However hopeless, helpless, mixed up and scary it all gets, it can work.

View Quote I only know what is. Also, I'm very big on what was. On what isn't yet, I haven't got a clue.

View Quote I went to empty the garbage and two people blessed me. And then one of them blessed the garbage. And then he asked me if our children were conceived immaculately.

View Quote I'll tell ya something never came out: I made Adam seventeen. Eve was fifteen—sixteen, tops. I figured then sixteen, seventeen was middle aged, you know. Who knew people would live so long? Trees I figured had the best chance. Now I realise they were kids—babies. Young people can't fall from my grace; they're my best things. Put that down.

View Quote It's a policy of mine: I try not to work with more than one saviour at a time.

View Quote Jesus was my son. Buddha was my son. Muhammad, Moses, you, the man who said there was no room at the inn was my son.

View Quote Oh, uh…I-I-I-I'm-I must have drove through, uh, a car wash wi-with my windows open?

View Quote See also: faith.

View Quote See also: meaning of life.

View Quote Trust me, like it says on the money.

View Quote Your Honour, I would like to call to the stand the Lord God.