Nobody's Fool quotes

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Sully

View Quote Sully: I can't believe it's gonna take you that long to get me out of jail.
Wirf: Don't blame me, I'm a Jew. They're not my holidays.
Sully: A Jew? Really? I didn't know that. How come you ain't smart?
Wirf: How can I start getting you out of jail when you won't go in?

View Quote Sully: I should have known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.
Wirf: You can't afford a two-legged lawyer.

View Quote Sully: Poor guy just had a bypass. Maybe he's trying to cram everything he can do into six months. When he realizes he's going to live until he's seventy, he'll slow down.
Toby: If I had my way, he wouldn't live to Thanksgiving.

View Quote Sully: What's the matter with you?
Wirf: I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.
Carl: Forget about it. The only way to communicate with Sully's to whack him in the head with a shovel.

View Quote Sully: You ain't naked or anything, are ya?
Toby: No, but I can be in about 2 seconds.
Sully: Well, take your time. I need a cup of coffee. [on phone] Ace Towing? Sullivan. I'm just around the corner. 313 Harvin. Pick me up. Charge it. Tip Top Construction Company. Thanks. [hangs up phone] Horace?...
Horace Yaney: Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.
Sully: Thank God for that!

View Quote Toby: Did you come to steal our new snowblower?
Sully: I've already done it, just about.
Toby: I could legally shoot you, you know.
Sully: Not unless I'm breaking and entering.
Toby: ARE you gonna break and enter?
Sully: What's happening with Dummy?
Toby: I don't know. He took my threat to shoot him a lot more seriously than you just did.

View Quote Toby: Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.
Sully: Well, thanks.
Toby: That wasn't a compliment!

View Quote Wirf: Sooner or later we'll wear the bas**** down. The court is already starting to get pissed. You heard the judge.
Sully: He's pissed at you, Wirf!
Wirf: Only because he knows I won't go away.
Sully: I know how he feels.

View Quote Wirf: You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?
Sully: You don't need a leg, you need a parrot.

View Quote [Wirf and Sully bet on the People's Court]
Sully: Okay, Shyster, who do you like?
Wirf: The plaintiff. It's a lock.
Sully: I'll take the defendant.
Birdy: You weren't even here for the stories.
Sully: Yeah, but I know my lawyer.

View Quote Boy, a guy goes to jail for a couple of days and the whole town goes to hell!