Most scenes together: Lock & Shock (6), Lock & Barrel (4), Shock & Barrel (4)
Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, / In a place perhaps you've seen in your dreams; / For the story that you are about to be told / Took place in the holiday worlds of old. / Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from. / If you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun.
Attacked by Christmas toys? That's strange, that's the second toy complaint we've had.
Attention. Attention, citizens. Terrible news. There is still no sign of Santa Claus. Although the imposter has been shot down. It looks like Christmas will have to be cancelled this year. I repeat: The imposter has been shot down, but there is still no sign of the real Santa Claus... [fades off in the distance]
I had the most terrible vision.
That's splendid!
No - it was about your Christmas. There was smoke, and fire...
That's not MY Christmas! MY Christmas is filled with laughter, and joy... and this: my Sandy Claws outfit. I want you to make it.
Jack, please listen to me. It's going to be a disaster!
How could it be? Just follow the pattern! This part's red, the trim is white...
It's a mistake, Jack!
Now, don't be modest. Who else is clever enough to make my Sandy Claws outfit?
Release me now, or you must face the dire consequences! / The children are expecting me, so please come to your senses...
You're jokin'! You're jokin'! I can't believe my ears! / Would someone shut this fella up?! I'm drownin' in my tears! / He's funny! I'm laughing! You really are too much! / And now, with your permission, I'm going to do my stuff.
I'm gonna do the best I can!
Haven't you heard of peace on Earth, and goodwill toward men?
NO!
Nice work, bone daddy.
Yeah, I guess so. Just like last year, the year after that, and the year before that.
No he's not. If he can fit down a chimney, he can fit down here.
They're trying to hit us. [calls to Zero] ZERO! [Zero looks back at Jack, the military canon made a target and fires. It hits the entire sleigh Jack is driving, now falling] MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!
I knew this Christmas thing was bad idea. [gets in] I felt it in my gut. [starts the car and drives away, through megaphone] Terrible news, folks! The most tragedy of our time! Jack has been blown to smithereens! Terrible, terrible news!
Don't do this! Naughty children never get any presents!
I think he might be too big!
No, he's not. If he can go down a chimney, he can fit down here!
You were a scream, Jack.
It was terrifying!
You're a witch's fondest dream.
Thanks, Jack! We owe it all to you! Why, without your leadership------
Not at all, Mayor. [But the Mayor doesn't notice that anything is wrong. He is too intent on keeping the crowd's attention focused on where it shall be; on himself]
It's now my pleasure to give out the wonderful prizes. Our first award goes to the vampires, for most blood drained in a single evening. Congratulations, Fanged Ones! Second prize is to the Dark Lagoon Leeches, who also have a real taste for blood...
[The crowd cheers again, and Jack takes the opportunity to slip off. It is strange, but all the applause makes him feel horrible. He needs to go someplace that will cheer him up. He heads for the graveyard] [He is so preoccupied that he never notices the frail, melancholy figure of Sally the Rag Doll watching him. Sally is mournful, as well, and with nice reason. She has been created by the town's official Evil Scientist. Try as she may, and she has tried many times, Sally can't seem to escape from him. Although he is confined to a wheelchair, he guards her jealously]
And since I am dead, I can take off my head, to recite Shakespearean quotations / No animal or man can SCREAM like I can, with the fury of my recitations!
And will we ever / End up together? / No, I think not / It's never to become / For I am not the one.
I sense there's something in the wind/ that feels like tragedy at hand./ And though I'd like to stand by him/ can't shake this feeling that I have.
