Mulan
[snatches wrist away]
Um... notes, in case I forget something.
Scenes with Mulan
13 scenes
"Fa Mulan."
Mulan
Present!
Mulan
Oops.
Who spit in her bean curd?
Mulan
Um...Pardon me....
And silent! [inhales the teacup]
Mulan
[begins to climb on table, reaching for the teacup]
Could I just.....take that back? One moment......[they both begin tugging on the teacup, causing it to spill, and Crikee to jump inside the Matchmaker's dress]
Why, you clumsy...![she begins to leap around the room, due to Crikee in her dress. She knocks over the furnace, accidently sits on the coals, and begins jumping around even more. Mulan attempts to help by fanning her behind, causing it to burst into flame. The Matchmaker screams and falls on the table, breaking it.]
Mulan
Father, you can't go!
Mulan...
Mulan
Please, sir, my father has already fought bravely, and...
Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence.
Mulan, you dishonor me.
Mulan
Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army.
Did I hear someone ask for a miracle! Lemme hear you say "ahhh"!
Mulan
[screams]
Aaaggh!
That's close enough.
Mulan
A ghost!
Get ready, Mulan, your serpentine salvation is at hand, for I have been sent by your ancestors...[Crikee does an imitation of Mushuu, and Mushuu kicks him down] to guide you through your masquerade! [hands Crikee a leaf to fan the flames] C'mon, you gonna stay, you gonna work with me. So heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is death!
Mulan
Who are you?
Who am I? Who am I?! I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, [ he appears to her in his true form] the indestructible Mushu! I'm pretty hot, huh?! [Khan steps on Mushu]
Mulan
Uh, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Hey, dragon. Dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing. [hisses]
Mulan
You're...
Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?
Mulan
Tiny.
Of course, I'm travel size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright. [Khan tries to bite him] Down, Bessie!
I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp.
Mulan
Sorry. [ in manly voice] Uh, I mean, uh, sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is, when you get those manly urges! And you just got to kill something! Hm... Fix things, cook outdoors--
What's your name?
Mulan
Uh... I, uh... I...
Your commanding officer just asked you a question!
Mulan
Uh, I've got a name. Ha! And it's a boy's name, too.
Mulan
[to Mushu, quietly and nodding in Ling's direction]
His name is Ling.
I didn't ask for his name, I asked for yours.
Try, uh, uh, ah, Chu.
Mulan
Ah Chu.
Ah Chu?
Gesundheit. Ha, ha. I kill myself.
Mulan
Mushu!
Mushu?
Mulan
No!
Then what is it!
Ping! Ping was my best friend growin' up.
Mulan
It's Ping.
Ping?
Of course, Ping did steal my gir--
Mulan
[silencing Mushu]
Yes. My name is Ping.
Let me see your conscription notice. Fa Zhou... the Fa Zhou?
I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Mulan
Uh, he doesn't talk about me much. [Attempts to spit, but it ends up dangling from her mouth.]
I can see why. The boy's an absolute lunatic!
Alright, rise and shine sleeping beauty. Time to get up. C'mon up, up, up. Get your clothes on; get ready. I've got breakfast for ya. Look you get porridge, and it's happy to see you.
(Crikee appears in the middle of the bowl) [picks Crikee out of the bowl]
Hey, get outta there! You gon' make people sick!!
Mulan
Am I late?
No time to talk. Now, remember: it's your first day of training. Listen to your teacher, and no fighting. Play nice with the other kids - unless the other kids want to fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt.
Mulan
[chewing]
But I don't want to kick the other kid's butt.
Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face... [Mulan has a blank face] Ooh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon, scare me, girl! [Mulan growls at him] Yeah, that's my tough-looking warrior! That's what I'm talkin' about. Now get out there and make me proud!
Mulan
I never want to see a naked man again.
So it's true! I knew there was something wrong with you! A woman! Treacherous snake!
Mulan
My name is Mulan. I did it to save my father.
High treason!
Mulan
I didn't mean for it to go this far.
Ultimate dishonor!
Hi.
Mulan
I should never have left home.
Hey, c'mon you did it to save your father. Who knew you'd end up shaming him and disgracing your ancestors and losing all your friends...
Mulan
Okay, any questions?
Does this dress make me look fat? [gets slapped] Ow!
Mulan
No, I did.
Mulan
[to Shang]
Would you like to stay for dinner?
Would you like to stay forever?
