Joe Black Careful Bill, you'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Played by Brad Pitt 
Meet Joe Black (1998) · 36 quotes
Meet Joe Black (1998) · 36 quotes
Most-quoted character in Meet Joe Black (1998): in 22 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: William Parrish (8), Susan Parrish (3)
Should you choose to test my resolve in this matter, you will be facing a finality beyond your comprehension, and you will not be counting days, or months, or years, but milleniums in a place with no doors.
More lines from Joe Black
7 quotes Joe Black Joe Black Thank you for loving me.
Joe Black I can't believe you people. I come for you, and you want to stay, I let you stay and you want to go.
Joe Black You got enough nice pictures?
Joe Black Hello Bill.
Joe Black Do you have any peanut butter?
Joe Black Make no mistake, should you choose to test my resolve in this matter, you will be looking at an outcome that will have a finality that is beyond your comprehension, and you will not be counting the days, or the months, or the years, but millenniums, in a place with no doors.
Scenes with Joe Black
14 scenes
Hello? Is anyone here? [Louder] I said is anyone here?
Joe Black Quiet down
Where are you?
Joe Black I'm here
What is this a joke, right? Some kind of elaborate practical joke? Heh, at my fortieth reunion we delivered a casket to the class presidents hotel room and uh--
Joe Black Quiet
[backing out of library]
Joe Black Where are you going Bill?
I uh...
Joe Black The great Bill Parrish at a loss of words? The man from whose lips fall "rapture" and "passion" and "obsession"? All those admonitions about being "deliriously happy, that there is no sense in living your life without" all the sparks and energy you give off, the rosy advice you dispense in round pear shaped tones.
What the hell is this? [Creaking, Joe Black appears in faded window] Who are you?
Joe Black Just think of millenniums multiplied by eons compounded by time without end. I've been around that long. But it's only recently your affairs here have piqued my interest. Call it boredom. The natural curiosity of me the most lasting and significant element in existence has come to see you.
About what?
Joe Black I want to have a look around before I take you.
Take me where?
Joe Black It requires competence wisdom and experience, all those things they say about you in testimonials. And you're the one.
The one to do what?
Joe Black Show me around, be my guide. And in return you get...
I get what?
Joe Black Time: minutes, days, weeks, lets not get encumbered by detail, what matters is that I stay interested. [Pause] Yes...
'Yes' what?
Joe Black 'Yes' is the answer to your question.
What question?
Joe Black Oh Bill, come on. The question. The question you've been asking yourself with increased regularity, at odd moments, panting through the extra game of handball, when you ran for the plane in Delhi, when you sat up in bed last night and hit the floor in the office this morning. The question that is in the back of your throat, choking the blood to your brain, ringing in your ears over and over as you put it to yourself.
'The question'...
Joe Black Yes Bill the question. [Moves from glass into shadowy area] The question.
Am I going to die?
Joe Black [approaches Bill. Stops]
Yes.
You want me to be your guide?
Joe Black You fit the bill, Bill.
[Walking along a crowded sidewalk]
You know, I got to thinking. With you here and seemingly occupied, how's your work going, I mean, elsewhere?
Joe Black While you were shaving this morning, you weren't just shaving.
What do you mean?
Joe Black You were hatching ideas, making plans, arriving at decisions, right?
Yeah, I guess so
Joe Black So you get the concept. While part of you is doing one thing, another part of you is doing another, perhaps even attending to the problems of your work. Correct?
Of course
Joe Black So you understand the idea. Congratulations, Bill. Now multiply that by infinity, take that to the depth of forever, and you still will barely have a glimpse of what I'm talking about. [Bill stops, Joe keeps walking, Bill takes Joes arm and stops him from getting hit by a car...again]
Drew ...the truth is, joining John Bontecou is every bit as certain as death and taxes.
Joe Black Death and taxes?
Drew Yes.
Joe Black Death and taxes?
Drew Yes.
Joe Black What an odd pairing.
You know about money, don't you?
Joe Black It can't buy happiness?
Jamaican woman Obeah.
Joe Black {Jamaican accent] Rahtid. Obeah evil. I not evil, woman.
Jamaican woman And what you is then?
Joe Black I from the next place.
Jamaican woman You waitin' here to take us? Like you is the bus driver to there?
Joe Black No, man, I on 'oliday.
Jamaican woman Some spot you pick. [Groans faintly] The pain. Pain is bad, bad.
Joe Black I don't have nothin' to do with these things, you know.
Jamaican woman Make it go away.
Joe Black Doctor Lady make it alright.
Jamaican woman Uh-uh. Not this pain. This pain go through and through me. Make it go away.
Joe Black I can't, sister.
Jamaican woman You can, mister. Take me to that next place.
Joe Black It's not your time now.
Jamaican woman Make it time.
Joe Black You can't fool with the way things got to be.
Jamaican woman [whimpering]
Please...
Joe Black [pauses]
Close your eyes. Go on, sister. [Puts his hands on her, woman smiles and opens her eyes slowly] Soon.
Drew And who would've thought... you, an IRS agent.
Joe Black Death and Taxes.
Tell me you love me now.
Joe Black I love you now. I love you always.
Joe Black I don't care Bill. I love her.
How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That's not love.
Joe Black Then what is it?
Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging - it's missing everything that matters.
Joe Black Which is what?
Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.
Joe Black So that's what love is according to William Parrish?
Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
Joe Black Those were my words.
They're mine now.
You're at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong woman!
Joe Black Are you threatening me?
Yeah, I certainly hope so.
It's hard to let go, isn't it?
Joe Black Yes it is, Bill.
Well that's life. What can I tell you?
What will we do now?
Joe Black It will come to us.
Should I be afraid?
Joe Black A man like you?
Joe Black I want to be friends.
I have many friends.
Joe Black I have none.
