Meatballs (1979) · 35 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Meatballs (1979): in 6 of its 35 quotes
Most scenes with: Tripper Harrison (5)
Rudy I'm going away.
You goin' to Vegas? If you're going to Vegas, I would be up for it because I love that town. I'm a party guy. I love that town.
Rudy I don't think they want me around.
You talkin' about the soccer heads back there? Well, that's life in the fast-paced slam-bang, live-on-the-razor's-edge, laugh-in-the-face-of-death world of junior league soccer.
Rudy I saw you dancing with Roxanne.
Oh yeah? Well, she sort'a cornered me and there was nothing I could do without embarrassing her.
Rudy Do you like her?
Well, I feel sorry for her, you know. She's got a glass eye. And, uh, I'm one of the few people who knows exactly which eye to look at when they're talking to her, so she's sort of fixated on me.
Rudy Well, I like her.
Well you're not exactly known for your taste. I'll probably just use her for the rest of the summer and then throw her on the scrap heap with all the rest of the women that I've destroyed. Uh, I have to go on this overnight. I'm takin' the C.I.T.s on an overnight for the next couple days so you're gonna have to do your own training, son. I want you to run two miles today and two and a half tomorrow.
Rudy I've never run that far.
Neither have I but somebody's gotta do it. I can't be expected to do it. Somebody's gotta do it, and it can't be me! Because I'm too busy. I've responsibilities. I'm the entertainment director for the overnight. [holds up a bottle of wine]
What's the matter? You're pacing like an expectant father with the clap.
Rudy The Olypiad is tomorrow.
So?
Rudy I wanna do well.
You wanna do well? Bet every dime you got on Camp Mohawk.
Rudy Are you going to go see Roxanne tonight after Morty's rally?
Could be. After the way she treated me on the overnight I'm a little afraid to be alone with her tonight. And I think you know what I mean.
Rudy I think you like her. Really, admit it! You really do like her don't you? [Tripper makes a funny-discusted face]
My dad's buying a camp next summer. Wanna come up?
Rudy Uh, no thanks. I, uh, I kinda like it here.
Can I have some fries, please? [sees Rudy sitting in a diner both] Hey! Gerner. How's it goin'? This is the best damn food in the whole Two Pines area. Not surprised you found this place. I had you pegged for a gourmet first time I met you. You know, that's a smart move bringing a suitcase. You don't wanna be leaving a lot of valuable socks and underwear around camp where people can wrestle around in them when you're out on the town. [Waiter brings Tripper his French fries] Thank you. [to Rudy] You like ketchup?
Rudy I'm going away.
You goin' to Vegas? If you're going to Vegas, man, then I would be up for it cause I love that town. I'm a party guy, I love that town.
Rudy I don't think they want me around.
You talking about the soccer-heads back there? Well, that's life in the fast-paced, slam-bang, live-on-the-razor's-edge, laugh-in-the-face-of-death world of junior league soccer.
Rudy I'm serious, I've never played the game before! I tried to tell them.
What? You tried to tell... and they... Who was it? I'll get 'em. I'll get 'em with this Swiss army knife. The Swiss trained me to kill and I will do it; I will grab these guys by the neck, take the toothpick and stick it right in between their teeth! And then I'll slap them around the head a couple of times. They'll go out for just a couple of seconds, they'll be unconscious and what I'll do then, I'll go for the corkscrew. And I'll grap 'em and I will take that corkscrew and I will stick it right into the voicebox. I will twist that mofo, I will twist it, rip it out and he'll talk like this for the rest of his life!
Rudy I don't wanna hurt anyone. I just want them to like me.
Why? You make one good friend a summer and you're doing pretty well. Look, if you have trouble, come to me, tell me, and I'll help you.
