Major League quotes

View Quote Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "ole" bullshit!

View Quote I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees.

View Quote Lou: I thought you said we didn't have any high priced talent.
Charlie Donovan: I forgot about Dorn, cause he's only high priced.
Pepper: [Vaughn pulls up on a motorcycle] Take a look at this ****in' guy.
Lou: It's my kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team.

View Quote Well, you may run like Mays, but you hit like shit.

View Quote Willie: [looks over Jake's shoulder and see's him reading a comic book] Moby Dick? What you reading that for?
Jake: This happens to be a masterpiece of American Literature.
Willie: [chuckles] Lynn turn you on to that?
Jake: Yeah... a long time ago.
Willie: Well listen, if we ever get out of here, me and the other guys are going to a club later on tonight. You want to come with us?
Jake: [frustrated] Oh, I can't, I got some reading to do.
Willie: [rolls his eyes] What man, you got a test or something? Jake, man why don't you just go over there and see her. Maybe she'll let you slide on a couple of these.
Jake: Well I would if I knew where she lived.
Willie: That's easy! Just tail her home from the library.
Jake: You mean sit in my car and wait for her to get out of work and then follow her? That's kind of juvenille don't you think?
Willie: [ponders it for a split second] Yeah!

View Quote Heywood's a convicted fellon, isn't he Monty? [Monty: Ah...doesn't really say it here.] Well, he should be!

View Quote Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.

View Quote Come on Jake. It's only your life.

View Quote We should've got the live chicken.

View Quote Willie: What the hell league you been playing in?
Rick: California Penal...
Willie: Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
Rick: Stole a car.

View Quote Roger: [after Rick tackled him, and the two have been separated] Don't **** with me, Vaughn!
Rick: Yeah? [shouting] **** you!
Roger: What's the matter, rookie ****-Wad? Can't you take a little joke?
Rick: Real ****ing funny, asshole.
Lou: All right, [shouting] All right. Knock that shit off.
Roger: Lou, you better make it real clear to this little lady that I'm not about to take his shit.
Lou: Shut up, Dorn.

View Quote Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display.

View Quote The post-game show is brought to you by... [searches through his papers] Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.

View Quote Rick: I got news for you Mr. Brown, you haven't heard the last of me. You may think I'm shit now, but someday you're gonna be sorry you cut me. I'm gonna catch on somewhere else and every time that I pitch against you I'm gonna stick it up you're ****in' ass! [throws baseball against locker]
Lou: Good! I like that kind of spirit in a player. The only problem is I didn't cut you.
Rick: What?
Lou: I think someone's been having some fun with you.

View Quote Hayes is picked off! Personally I think we got hosed on that call