Lucas If you're so depressed, how come you're eating pizza?
Played by Corey Haim 
Lucas (1986) · 23 quotes
Lucas (1986) · 23 quotes
Most-quoted character in Lucas (1986): in 22 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: Maggie (7), Bruno (4), Coach (4)
There is a dance on friday and if you and Alise could take Maggie and me, it'd be great. See, she has to meet people. She has a strong need for acceptance.
More lines from Lucas
4 quotes Lucas Lucas Either you're an athlete or you're not an athlete.
Lucas You can't ever make me quit, EVER!
Lucas They say that aggression is an expression of sexual feeling.
Scenes with Lucas
17 scenes
Guys, what do you say? You coming out for the football team or not? We're trying to find you a jersey but we're all out of pup tents.
You should talk, shit breath!
Luke, Luke! Get that ball away and puke! Ben and Luke! I'm going to puke!
Lucas Let's go...
Don't let him scare you away!
Lucas Scare me away?
Yeah, just tell him to eat shit.
What are you always sticking up for this wimp for?
Why are you always picking on him?
Why do they call you leukoplakia? Does it mean something?
Lucas Leukoplakia is cancer of the mouth.
Lucas I guess everybody has their own idea of fun. Some people go to football games. Other people do less superficial things.
Look, just because you don't approve of something, doesn't mean other people don't have a right to enjoy it. You're in the band aren't you?
Lucas Yeah?
So?
Lucas So?
So the band goes to football games!
Lucas We're totally different!
Why?
Lucas Because the band does not have fun there!
I'm just being nice to her.
Alise Well, stop being nice to her! I don't want you talking to her anymore, I don't want to turn around and see you walking with her and smiling at her. I don't want her in this car on Friday night. We're not giving her any ride to any goddamn dance, she can put her fat ass on the back of Lucas's bike where it damn well belongs!
Are you interested in politics?
So so.
Are you interested in wide receivers?
What's that?
The position I play.
Oh, is that what you do? Sorta.
Are you interested in cars?
No.
Are you interested in being kissed?
Yes.
Leukoplakia! They actually found a jock strap to fit you? Somebody should stop by home ec. tomorrow to pick up a thimble. Or maybe a thimble is too big. How about a contact lens and a band aid?
Lucas Are you referring to the size of my penis?
Yeah, I am.
Lucas With a flaccid penis, it's the number of folds that count. Besides, I'm not semi-erect like some of you guys here.
What did you say?
Lucas A University of Chicago study. You can tell the f**s in a warm shower by who's got the longest dong. Hey, yours seems to be growing even now.
The hell it is!
Lucas It IS, look!
Where are you going?
Lucas To the dance.
By yourself?
Lucas Hey, I'm a party animal.
Did you hear about Lucas? It's suicide!
Rena
What do you mean?
He's gone out for the football team!
You know how wonderful you are?
Lucas Yeah, but it doesn't turn you on, does it?
Hear me good, you pissant! Because I'm only going to tell you one more time.
Lucas Don't you call me that! Don't you call me a pissant you dumb **** jock!
What'd you say?
Lucas You heard me, pencil-brain! I mean, who are we kidding here, who is the pissant? The second-rate coach of a third rate team or me?
Lucas This equipment doesn't fit.
No, it's you that don't fit.
Bly, in!
Lucas What position?
Prone!
You are never playing football again.
Luca
Okay.
You.
Lucas Magpie.
Locust.
What the hell are you?
Lucas Excuse me?
Who suited you up?
Lucas Well, I'd like to speak to you about that. This equipment just doesn't fit.
No, that's not the problem. It's you that don't fit. Now go turn it in.
Lucas Excuse me. I can run really fast when I concentrate.
I said turn it in. Now, get off the field. [yells to the other players] All right, everybody inside for chalk talk! Shower up, first. Let's go, go, go, go, go, go!
Lucas You're making a big mistake. I'll be good at this. I can lower my center of gravity. See? Look. [Lucas does a few little spins left and right] See? And my size, I gotta run fast. If they catch me, I'm dead.
Just, listen, little buddy. We got our first game this Saturday against Rockford and I don't have time to dick around with you.
Lucas Well, I'm afraid... you'll have to, sir... dick around with me. The Supreme Court, by virtue of the sexual discrimination act says, that if anyone tries out for a team sport has to be given the same chance as everyone else. Now, if you wish to cut me based on my performance, that's your right, but I'll take you to court if you try it before.
What's this shit?
Lucas I looked it up. My family's in law.
[Lucas walks off the field as Coach Boyd looks at him with his mouth open]
Lucas Did we win?
No way.
Lucas Boy. They sure were big.
Luca
Okay.
You.
Lucas Magpie.
Locust. They're all gone, you know. The locusts. I was just outside. They aren't making any noise anymore.
Lucas Not for 17 years.
Lucas [Maggie holds Lucas's hand]
I'm sorry for doing this.
I guess you had to.
Lucas Yeah.
You know, survival of the species and all. [both smile] What are you thinking?
Lucas I'm just wondering where we'll be when they come back.
Who?
Lucas The locusts.
Gosh, I don't know.
Lucas You'll be 33.
Oh, wow.
Lucas I'll be 31 1/2. I wonder if we'll still know each other.
I don't know.
Lucas I hope so.
Oh, me too.
[Lucas and Maggie smile together]
