Andre Baptiste Sr. quotes from Lord of War (2005)

These are my Kalashnikov kids, my boy brigades. I can see what you are thinking, but we need every man we can get.

Yuri Orlov

Even if they're not men?

A bullet from a fourteen-year-old is just as effective as one from a forty-year-old. Often more effective. No one can stop this bath of blood.

Yuri Orlov

It's not "bath of blood." It's "bloodbath."

Thank you, but I prefer it my way. I am not going to pay your asking price. We are not a rich people. Besides, the market is already flooded with your Kalashnikovs. Do you realize in some parts of my country you can get one for the price of a chicken?

Yuri Orlov

But you can't just look at the unit of price. You forget ancillary costs. End user certificates need to be forged and notarized, shell companies set up, insurance purchased, pilots and crews hired, not to mention the bribes! You can't get a nut and bolt out of the Eastern Bloc without a bribe. There's one bribe for the nut, another for the bolt. Andy. Andy! Listen to me! This is an expensive proposition!

"Andy". I am going to pay you in timber or stone.

Yuri Orlov

I'll take the stones. It's kinda hard to get a tree trunk into my hand luggage. I know you're planning a new offensive. If you can delay a week, I can get you armored personnel carriers. They'll greatly reduce your casualties, and give you a significant strategic advantage.

You know, they call me the Lord of War. But perhaps it is you.

Yuri Orlov

It's not "Lord of War", it's "Warlord".

Thank you, but I prefer it my way.

Yuri Orlov

The Glock is interesting. It is made of a polymer composite. Many of my clients feel that they can go through airport security without seeing a lot of bells and whistles. Personally, I do not recommend that. [Andrei chuckles glancing over at a guard flirting with a female staffer] On the other hand, if you are looking for traditional wheel gun, there is no substitute for six inches of muzzle energy of 357 mag, and of course, it will never jam. [Andrei shoots the guard flirting with the female staffer] WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

What did you say?

Yuri Orlov

Well, now you're gonna have to buy it. It's a used gun. [takes pistol from Andre with his son and bodyguards all aiming rifles at an entirely-still-business-focused Yuri] How can I sell a used gun?

A "used gun"? A "used gun"?! [chuckles] That's a good one. You know? There is no discipline with the youth today. I tried to set an example, but it is difficult. [gestures to the body of the dead guard being dragged away] Personally, I blame MTV. [gunfire is heard in the distance, Andre smiles and Yuri nods in acknowledgment] A "used gun"? [chuckles heartily, gets up and extends hand for handshake] I think you and I, we can do business.

Yuri Orlov

What the **** are you doing here?!

We are here for peace talks at the United Nations.

Yuri Orlov

So at the same time you thought you'd drop in on your arms dealer?

You know, I was wondering if that still is your profession. You are a hard man to get a hold of, all of a sudden. It is a shame. My son and I, we were hoping to do a little shopping while we are here in New York.

Yuri Orlov

You know they're watching you.

Yes, I know they blame me. They blame me for everything, those hypocrites! They are on a hunt for a witch.

Yuri Orlov

Witch hunt.

Hostilities have escalated. They are making it very difficult for me to resupply. And that requires a man... of your rare ingenuity.

Yuri Orlov

I can't help you; I'm sorry.

I understand. But you should know this. Under the present circumstances, we are compelled... to be unusually generous.

You still haven't brought me the gun of Rambo.

So I will see you soon. Lord of War.