Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore [to a drunken friend]
Earl, do me a favor? … Every few words, have some bubbles come out of your mouth and say "hic".
2nd most-quoted character in The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996): in 18 of its 27 quotes
Most scenes with: Mitch Henessey (12)
Stop being a little baby and get up. Life is pain. Get used to it!
More lines from Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore
5 quotes Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore [to Timothy]
It ain't over. You're going to die screaming... and I'm going to watch. Am I telling the truth?
Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore [later, watching Timothy plummet to his death]
Die screaming, mother****er!
Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore Chefs do that.
Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom of it.
Scenes with Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore
12 scenes
[On arriving at the train station, Mitch takes his gun from a file in the trunk and puts it into his pocket] [Singing]
Put the car keys in my left pocket. Gun in the right hand side.
Samantha Caine It makes a bulge! People will see it.
You want me to put it into my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine What? So now you're a sharp shooter?
Samantha Caine What are you, a Mormon?
Yes, I'm a Mormon, that's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three vodka tonics. I mean . . . When I first met you, you were all "Oh phooey, I burnt the darn muffins;" now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come running out.
Samantha Caine Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.
Charly Baltimore [A man directs an unimpressed Charly into an alley with his gun.]
Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight. Shoo!
Gunman
Hey, honey, this is a real big **** gun.
[Mitch appears with his own gun pointed at the man's head.]
This ain't no ham on rye, pal.
Charly Baltimore What the hell are you doing?
Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin' up that "ham on rye" line.
Charly Baltimore Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?
I took lessons!
Charly Baltimore I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.
Well, why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.
Caitlin Caine
[Caitlin and Charly are locked in a fridge.]
Mommy, am I gonna die?
Charly Baltimore Oh, no, baby. No, you're not gonna die. They are.
Charly Baltimore [Charly strikes a match to light a gasoline stream.]
Cover your ears. Hey! Should we get a dog?
Charly Baltimore Easy, sport. Got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey.
Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.
Charly Baltimore [Charly jumps over a fence with a rifle and surprises one of her students.]
Good morning, Raymond.
Raymond [nervously]
Good morning, Miss Caine.
Charly Baltimore What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here.
Charly Baltimore [She takes a puff.]
Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me, I'll blow your **** head off.
And what about your daughter, what's her name . . . Cathead?
Charly Baltimore Caitlin.
So, you cold?
Charly Baltimore Yeah. Freezing.
Turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise -- distracts from the cold.
Assassin Hey, princess. Want some company?
Charly Baltimore No, thanks. I'm saving myself for when I get raped.
