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Lilo & Stitch

Lilo & Stitch quotes

17 total quotes


(happily, while talking on the phone to Cobra Bubbles.) Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw.

(on the phone) Hello, Cobra Bubbles? Aliens are attacking my house.

Capt. Gantu: [After being bitten by Stitch] Does this look infected to you?

Grand Council Woman: [Referring to Jumba and Pleakly] Keep them off my ship.

Myrtle Edmunds: [After being bitten by Lilo] Does this look infected to you?

Gantu: What is that monstrosity?
Jumba: Monstrosity? What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call it Experiment 626. He is fire-proof, bullet-proof, and can think faster than super computer. He can see in the dark, and move objects three thousand times his size. His only instinct... to destroy everything he touches! [laughs maniacally]
Grand Councilwoman: So it is a monster.
Jumba: Eh, just a little one.
[In Jumba's cell after Stitch has escaped]
Jumba: Heh heh, he got away?
Grand Councilwoman: I'm sure this comes as no surprise to you.
Jumba: I designed this creature for it to be unstoppable.
Grand Councilwoman: Which is precisely why you must now bring him back.
Jumba: What? Me?
Grand Councilwoman: And to reward you we are willing to trade your freedom for his capture.
Jumba: Hhmm 626 will not come easily... Maybe direct hit from plasma cannon might stun him long enough to--
Grand Councilwoman: Plasma cannon granted.
Cobra Bubbles: [reaching down to shake hands with Lilo] Nice to meet you.
Lilo: [tilting her head as if to read something] Your knuckles say ‘Cobra.'
[Cobra Bubbles withdraws his hand]
Lilo: 'Cobra Bubbles.' You don't look like a social worker.
Cobra Bubbles: I'm a special classification.
Lilo: Did you ever kill anyone?
Cobra Bubbles: [frowning] We're getting off the subject.
Lilo: [sounding slightly bored, speaking in response to Nani's pantomiming behind Cobra] I'm adjusted. I eat four food groups and look both ways when crossing the street. And I take long naps… [Nani holds up a fist making a muscle-probably to suggest exercise] - and get disciplined?
[Nani cringes]
Cobra Bubbles: Disciplined?
[Lilo continues, with Nani silently getting more and more frantic]
Lilo: Yeah, she disciplines me real good. Sometimes five times a day. With bricks.
Cobra Bubbles: Bricks?
Lilo: Uh-huh. In a pillowcase.
Lilo: [trying to push Nani out of her room] Can't you go any faster?!
Nani: [leaning back] Oh, no! Gravity is increasing on me!
Lilo: No It's not!
Nani: It is too, Lilo. The same thing happened yesterday.
Pleakley: Oh, great! He's loose!
Jumba: His destructive programing is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs and steal everyone's left shoe.
Lilo: It's nice to live on an island with no large cities.
Stitch: *gasp* GAAAHHH! [falls to the ground and begins convulsing and making frantic noises]
Lilo: Are you okay?
Jumba: Come on what's the big deal? [pulls a rack of plates off the wall to throw at Stitch]
Stitch: Ingatish miska!
Jumba: I'll put you back together again, I'll make you taller... and not so fluffy!
Stitch: I like fluffy!
Stitch: Yu Porma dissy!
Jumba: Leave my mother out of this!
Council Woman: [to Stitch] Show us there something inside you that is good.
Stitch: [Coughs] Meega nala quista!
Audience: [gasps]
Council Woman: So naughty!
Jumba: I didn't teach him that!
Stitch: Ohana means family. Family means...
Nani: "Nobody gets left behind".
Stitch: Or forgotten. Yeah. [to Jumba] Hey! Jumbu-ki jabbi!
Jumba: WHAAAAT?! After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that?! JUST LIKE THAT?!?
Stitch: Ih.
Jumba: Fine!
Pleakley: 'Fine?' You're doing what he says?
Jumba: Uh, he is... very persuasive.
Pleakley: PERSUASIVE?!
Pleakley: [sarcastically] Oh good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and insanity to my list of things I did today!
Jumba: Ha ha! You too?
Stitch: ALOHA!
Capt. Gantu: You're vile! You're foul! You're FLAWED! [smashes hand on Stitch]
Stitch: Also cute and fluffy!
Lilo: You came back.
Stitch: Nobody gets left behind.
Lilo: Did you lose your job because of Stitch and me?
Nani: Nah, the manager's a vampire. He wanted me to join his Legion of the Undead.
Lilo: [to herself] I knew it.
Lilo: I'm already IN my ROOM!
Lilo: [Nani is getting rid of Stitch] He was an orphan and we adopted him! What about Ohana?
Nani: He hasn't been here that long!
Lilo: Neither have I! Dad said Ohana means family. [Nani stops] Ohana means family. Family means...
Nani: ...nobody gets left behind.
Lilo: Or...?
Nani: ...or forgotten - I know, I know. I hate it when you use Ohana against me.
Dance instructor: Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day. [sighs] Every Thursday I bring Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.
Dance Instructor: Pudge is a fish...?
Lilo: [continues] But today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him and she said a tuna sandwich! I can't give Pudge tuna! [whispers] Do you know what tuna is?
Dance Instructor: Umm... fish?
Lilo: [Yelling angrily] It's FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late 'cos I had to go to the store, to get some peanut butter, 'cos all we have, is, IS STINKING TUNA!
Dance Instructor: Lilo. Why is this so important?
Lilo: Pudge controls the weather.
Myrtle: You're crazy.
[Nani and Lilo are at an animal shelter looking for a pet dog, though they end up getting Stitch under the impression that he is a dog]
Nani: [to shelter worker] We're looking for something that can defend itself... something that won't die, something sturdy, you know?
Lilo: Like a lobster!
Nani: Lilo, you lolo. Do we have a lobster door? No. We have a dog door. We are getting a dog!
Shelter Worker: [talking to Nani] Oh, yes. Mm-hmm. All of our dogs are adoptable.
[Sees Lilo coming out of the kennels with Stitch]
Shelter Worker ...EXCEPT THAT ONE!
[Nani runs to grap Lilo away from Stitch]
Nani: What is that thing?!
Shelter worker: A dog, I think! But it was dead this morning.
Nani: It was DEAD this morning?!
Shelter worker: Well, we thought it was dead. It was hit by a truck.
Lilo: I like him!
[Nani and Lilo are in the process of adopting Stitch from the animal shelter]
Shelter Worker: You'll have to think of a name for him.
Lilo: His name is... Stitch.
Shelter Worker: Now, that's not a real name...
[Nani frantically mimes to the effect of "don't say that"]
Shelter Worker: Iceland! But here it's a good name. Stitch it is.
Lilo: David! I got a new dog!
David: You sure it's a dog?
Lilo: Uh-huh. He used to be a collie before he got ran over
[David has just asked Nani out and Nani refused]
Lilo: Don't worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary.
David: [hopefully] She thinks it's fancy?
[Sitich has bitten Pleakley's head]
Pleakley [in disguise as a woman] All is well. Please, go about your business. I'm okay.
Nani: Oh, your head looks swollen.
Jumba: Actually, she's just ugly.
[Stitch grabs the plasma cannon]
Stitch: Ha!
[Jumba shoves a carrot in the barrel before it can go off]
Jumba: You shouldn't play with guns.
Stitch: Ah okay
[Passes the cannon to Jumba]
Jumba: Thank you... [throws it back to Stitch] Oh I just remembered is your birthday, happy birthday.
Stitch: [passes it back to Jumba] Merry Christmas.
Jumba: It's not Christmas [hurriedly passes it back to Stitch]
Stitch: [throws it back Jumba] Happy Hanukkah!
[Pleakley has Lilo over his shoulder and is running for the door]
Lilo: We're leaving Stitch?
Pleakley: Trust me this is not going end well.
[Jumba and Stitch continue to pass the ever expanding cannon back and forth]
Jumba: One potato!
Stitch: Two potato!
Jumba: Three potato!
Stitch: Four!
Jumba: Five potato!
Stitch: Six potato!
Jumba: Seven potato more!
Stitch: My--
Jumba: Mother--
Stitch: Told--
Jumba: Me--
Stitch: You
Jumba: Are--
Stitch: It.
Jumba: Ha! I win! [cannon explodes]
Grand Council Women: (To Cobra) Hm... You look familiar.
Cobra Bubbles: Roswell, 1973.
Grand Concil Woman: Oh yes... You had hair back then.

[After being washed up on rocks, following an attempt to capture Stitch in which his scuba tank was bitten open] Ugh... Little monster!

[After narrowly missing Pleakley with a thrown weapon] You always get in the way!

[After shaking up a pickle jar stuffed with 'spoon voodoo dolls'] ...My friends need to be punished.

[As Stitch hides behind Lilo to avoid getting shot] Using that little girl for a shield! [at Stitch] THIS IS LOW EVEN FOR YOU!!!

[At an animal shelter, while the other animals are hiding from Stitch in the rafters] "Hello? Hello?! Are there any "aminals" in here?

[Captain Gantu calls him an "idiot scientist"] I prefer to be called "evil genius"!

[While holding a blue Volkswagen Beetle protecting himself] Blue punch buggy... No punch-back!

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten.

So, tell me, my little one-eyed one... on what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my monstrosity been unleashed?