Alana Kane I don't understand, but... I'm sexy, right?
Played by Alana Haim 
Licorice Pizza (2021) · 22 quotes
Licorice Pizza (2021) · 22 quotes
Most-quoted character in Licorice Pizza (2021): in 12 of its 22 quotes
Most scenes with: Gary Valentine (6)
**** off, teenagers!
More lines from Alana Kane
1 quote Alana Kane Scenes with Alana Kane
10 scenes Alana Kane [during a fight]
Este, don't you even look at me! Don't you even look at me! You're always looking at me!
Este Kane
Oh, my...
Alana Kane What are you doing?
Este Kane
I didn't even say anything!
Alana Kane What are you doing? What are you thinking, huh? "I'm Este. I work for mom and dad. I'm perfect! I'm a real estate agent. Alana doesn't have her life together. Alana brings home stupid boyfriends all the time."
Este Kane
I mean...
Alana Kane I knew it! I knew that was what you were thinking. You're always thinking things, you thinker! You thinker! You think things!
Alana Kane What does your penis look like?
Lance Brannigan
What?
Alana Kane What does your penis look like?
Lance Brannigan
Like a regular penis, I guess.
Alana Kane Is it circumcised?
Lance Brannigan
Yeah...
Alana Kane Then you're a **** Jew!
You say everything twice.
Alana Kane I don't say everything twice! What is this, say everything twice?
Matthew
Do you have a boyfriend?
Alana Kane Yes and no. I don't know.
Matthew
Is he a shit?
Alana Kane Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew
They're all shits, aren't they?
Alana Kane You don't even know what's going on in the world. You think that the world revolves around Gary Valentine and whatever stupid shit you come up with.
It does.
Alana Kane No it doesn't.
Yes, it does.
Alana Kane I'm cooler than you. Don't forget it.
I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not, old lady.
Alana Kane What was that?
I said "milady".
Alana Kane Stop.
What?
Alana Kane I can hear you breathing. Stop.
Breathing?
Alana Kane Yes.
Alana Kane Are you asking me out?
Yes.
Alana Kane I'm not going on a date with you, you're twelve.
You're funny. I'm fifteen.
Hello, gorgeous.
Alana Kane Hello, handsome.
Come here often?
Alana Kane No, 'cause I'm not a teenager. I'm selling earrings for my friend JoJo.
Is your bottom soggy? Having trouble sleeping?
Alana Kane Well, now that you mention it...
Boyfriend trouble?
Alana Kane No boyfriend. So I don't really have trouble.
Well, that's good.
Alana Kane [on the phone]
What's your name?
Waterbed Ted
Uh, Ted.
Alana Kane Ted.
Waterbed Ted
Yes.
Alana Kane Oh, Ted, I love that name.
Waterbed Ted
Okay...
Alana Kane My name's Alana.
Waterbed Ted
Hi, Alana.
Alana Kane Can I come and install the bed for you?
Waterbed Ted
What?
Alana Kane I'd lay it down and show you how it works. It moves in a similar way to the ocean... wet inside. And it takes some getting used to, but once you're in there, oh, Ted, I don't think you're gonna be asking any questions.
Waterbed Ted
Sounds like you just sold a waterbed, Alana. Tell me, what time can you be over with that bed?
Alana Kane Oh, well. Eager. I have to wait until my work is done.
Waterbed Ted
Oh, yeah?
Alana Kane Yeah. I have a mean, old boss that makes me work all day.
Waterbed Ted
Why don't you tell Fat Bernie you have work to do and get out of there?
Alana Kane Oh. Fat Bernie is so mean, Ted.
Waterbed Ted
Sounds like it.
Alana Kane He keeps me locked up inside. But you know what, Ted?
Waterbed Ted
What's that?
Alana Kane I know you're gonna love our wet beds. You know what they come with?
Waterbed Ted
What's that?
Alana Kane A wood headboard. And that wood is strong and sticks straight up against the wall.
Waterbed Ted
That sounds great.
