The Last Seduction 1994 quotes

Bridget Gregory

Could you leave? Please?

Mike Swale

I haven't finished charming you yet.

Bridget Gregory

You haven't started.

Mike Swale

Gimme a chance.

Bridget Gregory

Look, go find yourself a nice little cowgirl and make nice little cowbabies and leave me alone.

Mike Swale

I'm hung like a horse. Think about it.

Bridget Gregory

Let's see.

Mike Swale

Excuse me?

Bridget Gregory

Mr. Ed, let's see.

Mike Swale

Look, I tried to be nice. I can see that's something you're not...

Bridget Gregory

No, I'm trying. I can be very nice when I try. Sit down.

Mike Swale

OK, maybe we just got off to a bad start. I know plenty of people -

Mike Swale

What are you doing?

Bridget Gregory

I believe what we're looking for is a certain horse-like quality?

Bridget Gregory

You're my designated ****.

Mike Swale

Designated ****? Do they make cards for that? What if I want to be more than your designated ****?

Bridget Gregory

Then I'll designate someone else.

Harlan

How the **** do you stay up here? I mean, these people... I go in the store this morning for cigarettes, they got ducks under the counter. What, do they plant these people or do they just grow out of the ground? And they look at me like, hell, I don't know.

Bridget Gregory

Well, you know, they're not used to seeing guys like you around here, if you know what I mean. [pause] Is it true what they say?

Harlan

What?

Bridget Gregory

You know, size?

Harlan

Is it true what they say about white women?

Bridget Gregory

What's that?

Harlan

No ass.

Bridget Gregory

Oh, come on. I was wondering for real. Let me see it.

Harlan

**** you. Drive.

Bridget Gregory

I'm sorry.

Harlan

About what?

Bridget Gregory

About your shortcoming.

Harlan

I'm not gonna play this game.

Bridget Gregory

Is that why you carry a big gun?

Harlan

The Freudian mind-**** isn't gonna work either.

Bridget Gregory

Ooh, touchy. I'm sure your woman is very understanding.

Harlan

Exactly how is it that we end this phase of our relationship?

Bridget Gregory

By you showing it to me. Come on, let me see it. I've never seen one before. [pause] I'll show you my ass.

Harlan

What makes you think I wanna see your bony ass?

Bridget Gregory

Show me.

Harlan

Show me.

Bridget Gregory

I'm driving. You go first.

Harlan

No, you go first. [pause] You'll shut the **** up if I show you?

Bridget Gregory

I'm sure I'll be too stunned to speak.

Harlan

I don't believe this. You're crazy. Shit. [he exposes himself] Okay, there, you happy?

Mike Swale

Grow up.

Chris

What? Did you leave your dick in Buffalo?

Mike Swale

Chris, these women are anchors.

Chris

Here he goes again.

Mike Swale

How many guys in this bar have felt her up?

Chris

All of them.

Mike Swale

Right. And how many have gone home with her, how many guys have slept with her?

Chris

None, including yourself.

Mike Swale

Right, I rest my case.

Chris

Don't rest it too long, 'cause I promise you it will fall off.

Mike Swale

I'm starting to feel like a...

Bridget Gregory

Sex object?

Mike Swale

I'm trying to figure out whether you're a total **** bitch or not.

Bridget Gregory

I am a total **** bitch.

Frank Griffith

Anyone check you for a heartbeat recently?

Clay Gregory

I borrowed 100K from a man whose first and last names end in vowels, and every week I owe him a new thousand dollars in interest. And when I come up just a little short, he's got this very fun game that he likes to play with thumbs. I hired a private detective for fifty percent, but now that I know where you are, I am perfectly willing to spend all the money I have in hiring a clinical sociopath to take it from you, and **** you through the eye socket just for fun!

Bridget Gregory

As far as you're concerned any sex we had is entirely a product of your imagination.

Mike Swale

Maybe it's my quaint small town morals, but I don't do murder.

Bridget Gregory

Who's a girl gotta suck around here to get a drink?