Mike Swale quotes from The Last Seduction (1994)

Mike Swale

Grow up.

Chris

What? Did you leave your dick in Buffalo?

Mike Swale

Chris, these women are anchors.

Chris

Here he goes again.

Mike Swale

How many guys in this bar have felt her up?

Chris

All of them.

Mike Swale

Right. And how many have gone home with her, how many guys have slept with her?

Chris

None, including yourself.

Mike Swale

Right, I rest my case.

Chris

Don't rest it too long, 'cause I promise you it will fall off.

Bridget Gregory

Could you leave? Please?

Mike Swale

I haven't finished charming you yet.

Bridget Gregory

You haven't started.

Mike Swale

Gimme a chance.

Bridget Gregory

Look, go find yourself a nice little cowgirl and make nice little cowbabies and leave me alone.

Mike Swale

I'm hung like a horse. Think about it.

Bridget Gregory

Let's see.

Mike Swale

Excuse me?

Bridget Gregory

Mr. Ed, let's see.

Mike Swale

Look, I tried to be nice. I can see that's something you're not...

Bridget Gregory

No, I'm trying. I can be very nice when I try. Sit down.

Mike Swale

OK, maybe we just got off to a bad start. I know plenty of people -

Mike Swale

What are you doing?

Bridget Gregory

I believe what we're looking for is a certain horse-like quality?

Mike Swale

I'm starting to feel like a...

Bridget Gregory

Sex object?

Mike Swale

I'm trying to figure out whether you're a total **** bitch or not.

Bridget Gregory

I am a total **** bitch.

Bridget Gregory

You're my designated ****.

Mike Swale

Designated ****? Do they make cards for that? What if I want to be more than your designated ****?

Bridget Gregory

Then I'll designate someone else.