Master Shifu
This is an honor. Oogway chose you as his successor, and now you much choose yours.
Po
Master Shifu I already found something i’m good at and now you want to just take it away from me?
Master Shifu
No one is taking anything away, Po. Who you are will always be a part of what you become.
Po
Yeah, but where’s the “skadoosh”, you know what I mean? The “shasha-booie? I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I don’t know anything about passing on wisdom or inspiring hope. All I know are two things! Kicking butt, and taking names! And if I’m being completely honest I’m not even that good at the name taking. Like who was that fire breathing crocodile? I wanna say Steve…
Master Shifu
You were chosen to bring peace to the valley, and there are other ways to bring peace than simply "kicking butt".
P Mr. Ping
[enters the tavern]
Salutations! I'm so sorry to interrupt. I know you're having a good time, but I was wondering if a panda happened to be passing by these parts?
GB Granny Boar
There was a panda here. You know him?
P Mr. Ping
Know him? Why, I'm his dad.
L Li
[The patrons grab Mr. Ping, Li Shan looked at it.]
No, no, no, no, no, no. Hmm?
GB Granny Boar
You need to pay for what your son did to my tavern.
P Mr. Ping
[looks at the wood wall busted by Po]
My boy wouldn't have done this for no reason. Is it possible your broth was bland?
GB Granny Boar
Try it! [uses the scoop spoon to force Mr. Ping into the hot broth]
P Mr. Ping
No, no! The broth smells excellent. You should not add a single thing, especially not me!
L Li
[off-screen; enters the tavern]
Hands off the goose.
B Boar
[Granny Boar and the patrons look at angry Li Shan at the entrance and gasps.]
The panda's back.
L Li
No. But you’re about to wish he was, ’cause if you think he made a mess of this place, you have no i-dea what I’m capable of. Everything he learned, he learned from me. Except one thing: mercy. I don’t know where he got that, because I don’t believe in it. Now, this can go one of two ways. The easy way, in which you tell me where he is, or the hard way, in which you tell me where he is, but it’s hard to understand what you’re saying because you have no teeth. [drinks the tea and crushes the wooden mug, which leaves splinters on his paw] Mah-jongg. I eat mah-jongg tiles for breakfast! [eats the mah-jongg tiles, spits out some broken teeth, and groans]
GB Granny Boar
[The tavern patrons growl and ready for attacking Li, but he grabs the wooden chopsticks and gets on the table. Suddenly, the entire tavern tilts to the left, at which Wolf drops Mr. Ping. Then the tavern stands, but they hears any sudden tumbling sound. Li walks to the patrons, with the tavern tilting around.]
Stay there!
GB Granny Boar
He took a boat to Juniper City.
L Li
[The tavern patrons points to the left, which Po went.]
You know, a wise goose once-.
L Li
Yeah, right.
[Li and Mr. Ping leaves the tavern, but leans on it. The tavern suddenly falls down and splashes in the lake. Li, Mr. Ping and bunnies look back to see the patrons and owners floating with the fallen tavern; the bunnies cheer while Mr. Ping and Li leave.]
Po
I believe you have something that belongs to me.
The Chameleon
Can't you even die right?
Po
Can't you even kill wrong? No. [chuckles] Wordplay didn't come together. Now, about that staff…
The Chameleon
[immediately flings the Staff of Wisdom back to Po, who looks confused]
Take it. I already have everything I need from it anyway. I think this was destiny. A final face-off between formidable adversaries, alike in so many ways.
Po
If only I had a dumpling for every time a villain told me how much we had in common...
The Chameleon
It's true. We've both risen to the highest of heights. It's a shame only one of us can come out on top.
Po
It is a shame - for you!
The Chameleon
My combined powers of sorcery and kung fu make me unstoppable. And once I dispense with you, I'll expand my rule from Juniper City to--
Po
"... every other city and town and village, from here to the Valley of Peace and beyond." Yeah, I know!
The Chameleon
What? How did you know?
Po
I saw it in a vision. Cause I'm the Dragon Warrior.
Po
[The Chameleon raises an eyebrow]
For now, at least. But... I've realized that it's probably time I made a change. And so should you.
The Chameleon
I'm the Chameleon; I do nothing but change!
Po
Only on the outside. Real change happens from within. And if we're really as alike as you say, then maybe we can both let go of who we were and become something better than we already are? What do you say?
The Chameleon
I say... [suddenly shapeshifts into Lord Shen and kicks Po across the room]
Tai Lung
[watching from his cage]
Well, I saw that coming.
Voice of Master Shifu
We’re very proud of you.
V2 Voice 2
You tried it our way.
V1 Voice 1
Now try it yours.
Po
I’m way ahead of you!
Po
Look, I appreciate the promotion, I think i’m just gonna stick to this whole “dragon warrior thing”.
Master Shifu
Dragon warrior thing? What is it that you’re holding?
Po
A cookie?
Master Shifu
Other hand.
Po
The staff of wisdom?
Master Shifu
[Slaps the cookie from Po]
It was given to you by Master Oogway, Do you really think it was so you could open a restaurant? [Po tries to pick the cookie up but master shifu slides it away] Or pose for pictures?
Po
He wasn’t super specific.
Master Shifu
Oogway entrusted you with that staff so you could follow in his footsteps and become something better than you already are.
Shifu
[spits his tea out in shock]
HER?! Out of all the candidates you'd choose to train as your worthy successor, you chose the FOX?!
Po
You know when you know, you know?
Shifu
[frustrated]
Fine, choose who you want! A thief, a stick, a carrot! I don't even know why I bother! I'm going to go meditate... a LOT!
Tai Lung
[finally respecting Po after defeating Chameleon and restoring his and every master's kung fu]
Maybe Oogway was right about you. [Po looks at him in surprise] You aren't completely useless after all.
Po
Oh, my gosh, thank you so much. [Tai Lung and the other kung fu masters bow down, showing their respect of Po]
Tai Lung
I think it's time you sent us home, panda. [Po uses his Staff of Wisdom to open a portal to let all the kung fu masters back through; Tai Lung restrains Chameleon as she foolishly tries to get Zhen's attention]
The Chameleon
Zhen, do something!
Zhen
Third rule: No one's interested in your feelings. [Po looks over at Tai Lung and gives him a reassuring smile]
Tai Lung
See you on the other side, Dragon Warrior.
The Chameleon
[Last words]
NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tai Lung
Panda. Oogway made a mistake choosing you as the Dragon Warrior. I just didn't realize how big a mistake it was until now.
Po
Whoa. Tai Lung? I'm gonna get that staff back, restore your kung fu, and return you all back to the Spirit Realm. You'll see.
Tai Lung
[coldly]
All I see… is a broken promise.
Zhen
Just tell me one thing. How did someone like you become the Dragon Warrior?
Po
That's a mystery for you to solve during your two-year stay at the Valley of Peace prison.
Zhen
"Valley of Peace" prison? [blows raspberry] Sounds like a day care.
Po
It is a day care on the weekends. But it's also a prison.
Po
[During the credits, Po and Zhen are in the training hall]
Are you ready to begin your training?
Zhen
Are you?
Po
Yes, and I brought a little help.
Zhen
[The Furious Five appear as Tenacious D's ...Baby, One More Time begins to play] [amazed]
Whoa!
Master Shifu
[Po is signing autographs to the villagers, when...] [off-screen]
Po!
Po
[They all see Master Shifu, who is sternly at Po.]
Master Shifu! [gives him an autograph] Here, let me just… There, that’s much… worse.
Master Shifu
[deadpan]
We have to talk.
Po
Absolutely. Let’s talk. Right after the ceremony. Let’s go! [hurries off with the villagers, leaving Shifu]
Master Shifu
Ceremony? What ceremony?
Po
[While Po is getting some photos, one villager gets one with Master Shifu in it. Shifu growls in frustration.]
He really captured your disapproving scowl.
Master Shifu
We need to talk. [jumps off him] Now. [snatches his staff from the villager and walks off]
Po
Hey, can I get one of those in a wallet size?
Master Shifu
[off-screen]
Po!
Po
[runs off after him]
Coming.
