Scott's cousin: You know, we could put you on two shifts a week, just-just, just to try it.
Scott
I don't need a job. I, uh, I got a contact at a tattoo shop. I'm- I'm hoping for an apprenticeship, so...
Then you're gonna need some money.
Scott's cousin: Yeah, some of these guys walk away with 80 bucks in tips.
Scott, your cousin's offering you a job. Consider it, okay?
Scott's cousin: If you're good at it, you can become a waiter.
Scott
Why are you offering me a job anyway?
Scott's cousin: Because I told your father I'd always look out for you.
Scott
How? He died suddenly in a fire. Uh, did you ask his ghost?
That's not witty, Scott.
Scott's cousin: Your dark sense of humor doesn't work for me.
Scott's uncle: I find it funny.
It's your sister's big day. Be a gentleman.
Scott's cousin: Okay, we lost a few guys in an ICE raid.
Scott
Ah, shit. Sorry.
Maybe you should work and go to college.
Scott's uncle: College is bullshit!
Oh.
Scott's uncle: You know who went to Harvard? The Unabomber. You know who went to Temple? Bill Cosby. You know who else who went to Temple? Ted Bundy. You know who went to Hofstra? Bernie Madoff. You know who went to Wharton? Donald Trump. It's all a scam.
Scott
Okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go, then.
Scott's uncle: Oh, no, you'll have the time of your life.
