ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Captain Maitland: Okay, Sergeant, everything's secure up here. I'm coming down now.
Big Joe: Hey, Captain.
Captain Maitland: Sergeant, do you think I could get this yacht to Paris by Sunday?
Big Joe: You didn't bring me to this lousy farmhouse to talk about this lousy boat again, did you, Captain?
Captain Maitland: Oh, now, Sergeant, I worked on a deal with Headquarters. I just want to make sure they have a good time. I must get this yacht to Paris and pick up one and two things for the General.
Big Joe: And where do we spend this vacation?
Captain Maitland: Right here, Sergeant.
Big Joe: Are you kidding?
Captain Maitland: No, I'm not kidding. With a little imagination, you can fix this place up. Lay out a baseball diamond. Run the water into the back of the house. Special service is coming by with some magazines and paperbacks.
Big Joe: We're 10 miles from the nearest town! There's no action!
Captain Maitland: Well, that's the beautiful thing about this location, Sergeant. It's quiet. Get yourself a little suntan, a little rest. In three days we're back in the line.
Private Fisher: Hey, Captain! We're all ready to move out!
Captain Maitland: Yeah, go ahead.
Big Joe: Captain, there's no broads, there's no booze, there's no action!
Captain Maitland: That's another thing. Don't fool around with the women; their husbands carry guns. And don't forget, the penalty for looting is death!
Big Joe: LOOT WHAT?! THERE'S NOTHIN' HERE TO LOOT!
Captain Maitland: [hurrying after the truck hauling his yacht] I'll be back in three days!
Big Joe: Get yourself a suntan and get some rest. He's got to be out of his mind!
Captain Maitland: But how does he get away with it? That's what I wanna know.
Big Joe: Very simple. The General's his uncle, that's how.
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