Juno quotes

89 total quotes

Bren MacGuff
Juno MacGuff
Mac MacGuff
Multiple Characters

View Quote Juno: So guess what.
Paulie: [hesitant] What?
Juno: I'm pregnant.

View Quote It started with a chair.

View Quote Bren, use a dick! I love it!

View Quote Get a whiff of those sparkling topnotes!

View Quote Silencio, old man. Look, I drank my weight in Sunny D and I gotta go pronto.

View Quote Excuse me, can we get my kid the damn spinal tap already?

View Quote Liberty Bell, if you put one more Bac-O on that potato, I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt.

View Quote Vijay: You should grow a mustache.
Paulie: I can't.
Vijay: Me neither.

View Quote I think I'm just going to nip it in the bud, you know, before it gets worse. 'Cause you know, they say pregnancy can often lead to, you know — an infant.

View Quote Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

View Quote I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while.

View Quote Paulie: I've wanted this for a really long time.
Juno: I know.
Paulie: Wizard...

View Quote I'm going to go to Women Now, because they help women now.

View Quote It ended with a chair.

View Quote Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno: Nah, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?