Ollie
[to Gertie]
You're the only thing I was ever good at.
Played by Ben Affleck 
Jersey Girl (2004) · 14 quotes
Jersey Girl (2004) · 14 quotes
Scenes with Ollie
9 scenes Ollie
Gertie
[last lines]
Thank you, daddy.
Ollie
Anything for you, Gert. You know why?
Gertie
Why?
Ollie
Because you're the only thing I was ever really good at.
Gertie
I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not MOMMY!
Ollie
I hate you right back, you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!
Ollie
"Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened in New York City.
Ollie
[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie
[thinking hard]
Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie
Yes.
Gertie
[after thinking hard again]
Is it as big as his?
Ollie
Sadly, yes.
Ollie
George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?
Gertrude
[very pregnant Gertrude is getting ready for the VMAs]
You try getting ready quickly when you look like this! I'm so fat and there's going to be nothing but beautiful skinny girls there!
Ollie
That's because they're all coked-out whores, honey.
Gertrude
[now crying]
I want to be a coked-out whore!
Ollie
They're just skinny because they're coked-out whores.
Gertrude
[sobbing]
I want to be a coked-out whore!
Ollie
Okay, you can be a coked-out whore. You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore.
Maya
I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie
Good God!
