Freddy Bender Objection, Your Honor: strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson
I'm going to allow it.
5th most-quoted character in Intolerable Cruelty (2003): in 6 of its 37 quotes
Most scenes with: The Baron (5), Miles Massey (4), Marylin Rexroth (3)
Scenes with Freddy Bender
6 scenes Freddy Bender 
I guess, something inside of me died, when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
Freddy Bender No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone.
Hear, hear.
Freddy Bender Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house.
Miles's house.
Freddy Bender Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.
"Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, for where a heart is hard, they make no battery..." Mrs. Rexroth, do you know those lines?
Freddy Bender Objection, your honor.
Judge Marva Munson
Grounds?
Freddy Bender Uh... poetry recitation.
Freddy Bender If you have a proposal to make, let's hear it.
Well, at this point, my client is still prepared to consider reconciliation.
Freddy Bender My client's ruled that out.
My client is prepared to entertain an amicable dissolution to the marriage without prejudice.
Freddy Bender That's a fart in a stiff wind.
My client proposes a 30-day cooling-off period.
Freddy Bender My client feels sufficiently dispassionate.
My client asks that you not initiate proceedings pending his setting certain affairs in order.
All right, so much for the ice-breakers. What are you after, Freddy? [takes a drink of water]
Freddy Bender My client is prepared to settle for 50 percent of the marital assets. [Miles spits out some water]
Why only 50, Freddy? Why not a hundred? While we're dreaming, why not 150? Are you familiar with "Kershner"?
Freddy Bender "Kershner" does not apply.
Bring this to trial, we'll see if "Kershner" applies.
Rex
What's "Kershner"?
Please, let me handle this.
Freddy Bender "Kershner" was in Kentucky.
"Kershner" was in Kentucky?
Freddy Bender "Kershner" was in Kentucky.
All right, Freddy, forget "Kershner". What's your bottom line?
Freddy Bender Primary residence, 30 percent of remaining assets.
What, are you nuts? Have you forgotten "Kershner"?
[The tape is being shown in court of Gus busting Rex cheating on Marylin. Watching it, she cries on cue and is comforted by Bender. However, Miles isn't fooled by this.]
I'm devastated. Completely devastated.
Freddy Bender No further questions.
