Most scenes together: Captain Steven Hiller & David Levinson (7), David Levinson & Julius Levinson (4), David Levinson & Connie (4)
I have a confession to make. I'm sleeping next to a beautiful young brunette.
You didn't let her stay up all night watching TV, did you?
Of course not.
Daddy let me watch Letterman.
Traitor.
I know there is much to learn from each other if we can make a truce. We can find a way to Co-exist. can there be a peace between us?
Peace? NO PEACE!
What is it you want us to do?
Die…die…
Just my luck. No ice.
I take it you've heard?
Hey, a toast. To the end of the world!
Shut up! Captain, get him out of here!
Hey, don't tell him to shut up! You'd all be dead now if it wasn't for my David! None of you did anything to prevent this!
There was nothing we could do! We were totally unprepared for this.
Oh don't give me "unprepared"! It was, what? In the nineteen- what, fifties. Whatever You had that spaceship.
Dad.
Yeah, that thing you found in New Mexico. Where was that?
Dad, not the spaceship.
Roswell. Roswell, New Mexico. No, you had the spaceship and you had the bodies. They were locked up in a, in a bunker. Where was that?
Sir…I don't know.
David? Area 51, right? Area 51! You knew then! And you did nothing!
Sir, regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids, there has never been any spacecraft recovered by our government. Take my word for it. There's no Area 51. There's no recovered spaceship.
Uh…excuse me, Mr. President. That's not entirely accurate.
What, which part?
Sir, I'm really anxious to get back to El Toro.
Hey, you have any idea how long it takes for those cups to decompose?
If you don't move [your chess piece] soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.
Burly Soldier What the hell are you doing? Get out of there!
Look, I got something I gotta handle, I'm just borrowing it.
Burly Soldier No you're not, Sir
Do you really want to shoot me?
Just tell 'em I hit you
[Soldier gives him a look saying, 'who would believe that?'] Bomber PilotMr President this is RetailOp! Squadron is in the air and procceding to target.
Not even a four pointer. Go back to sleep.
Hey, what the hell are you doing?
It's not me, they're overriding the system. Oh… shit! Um, hide.
[They duck behind their seats]
Oh CRAP! Which button I pressed? I picked a helluva day to quit drinkin'.
Hey, you know how I'm, like. always trying to save the planet? [Tosses the can in the recycle bin and looks at the spaceship] Here's my chance.
Here, take these. [He hands him some airsick bags stolen from Air Force One] Just in case.
Welcome to Earth!
