Marv Merchants Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get Salisbury steak on Wednesdays.
Played by French Stewart 
Home Alone 4 (2002) · 23 quotes
Home Alone 4 (2002) · 23 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Home Alone 4 (2002): in 7 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: Vera (3), Kevin McCallister (2), Peter (2)
Shut up, you little moron!
More lines from Marv Merchants
3 quotes Marv Merchants Marv Merchants [To Vera]
Shut up, Vera!
Marv Merchants Uh-oh! Let's get out of here!
Scenes with Marv Merchants
3 scenes
Robbers were trying to rip off your house!
So you chose to trash it?
No, I was trying to protect it!
By trashing it?
Marv, I gotta pee.
Marv Vera, you can pee next week.
Marv [Vera and Marv enter Kevin's room, which appears deserted] [whispering]
I think there's somebody here.
Marv No, not now. Shhhh.
You shhhhhhhh.
Marv SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
[Kevin is trapped in the basement with Mr. Prescott]
I don't understand. If they were so mean to you how come you never quit working for them?
I know you are young and that is the most obvious solution, but jobs are not always easy to find.
Dad
Just because you grow up on the outside doesn't mean you want to stop having fun enjoying life.
I know all about the inner child dad.
You do, huh?
That's why old guys drive sports cars.
You're probably right.
But the trouble with sports cars, there's no room for anybody else maybe one other person max. But if you want to take a real road trip luggage and all you don’t even have room for a friend I mean there cool and fast and all but who wants to be in a nice car when you're alone all.
Marv, are you in there?!
Radio
Shut up, Vera.
Well, okay. I was just trying to--
Radio
Shut up, you moron.
Hey, I'm no moron, you jerk!?
Radio
Shut up, you bag!
Door, open!
Marv What's wrong with YOU?!
What's wrong with YOU?! I'm no bag! And you know what? You ain't no genius!
Marv Vera, honey...
No, don't "Vera, honey" me!
Marv Honey...
You're not even as smart as this kid, who, in case you hadn't noticed, is totally kicking our butts! Well, from now on, I am my own boss!
Marv Vera. Vera, honey...
Don't "honey" me!
Marv Pumpkin. Pumpkin.
Marv! Forget about her! Get the kid! I'll be outta here in a few minutes.
Marv Oh, come on. No, prison's not so bad.
Oh yeah?
Marv Yeah, on Thursdays, you get Salisbury steak.
Yeah, I know about prison. That's where I met you.
Marv Calm down. Calm down.
You calm down!?
Marv [to officer]
Women, eh?
Officer
Yeah.
Hey, don't touch me!
Peter, what's he done now?!
Well, he saved the day, that's what. You should be thanking him.
Molly?! What in the world is going on?!
Detective
It seems that they were gonna kidnap the prince. Best we can gather, she's the boss.
Well, looks like you're gonna have to find a new maid.
And a new butler, I'm afraid. I resign.
Resign?! But why?!
Because as a wise young man once said, "Life's too short."
