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Kevin: Robbers were trying to rip off your house!
Natalie: So you chose to trash it?
Kevin: No, I was trying to protect it!
Natalie: By trashing it?
Vera: Marv, I gotta pee.
Marv: Vera, you can pee next week.
[Vera and Marv enter Kevin's room, which appears deserted]
Marv: [whispering] I think there's somebody here.
Vera: [yells] Anybody in here?
Marv: No, not now. Shhhh.
Vera: You shhhhhhhh.
Marv: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
[Kevin is trapped in the basement with Mr. Prescott]
Kevin: I don't understand. If they were so mean to you how come you never quit working for them?
Mr. Prescott: I know you are young and that is the most obvious solution, but jobs are not always easy to find.
Dad: Just because you grow up on the outside doesn't mean you want to stop having fun enjoying life.
Kevin: I know all about the inner child dad.
Peter: You do, huh?
Kevin: That's why old guys drive sports cars.
Peter: You're probably right.
Kevin: But the trouble with sports cars, there's no room for anybody else maybe one other person max. But if you want to take a real road trip luggage and all you don’t even have room for a friend I mean there cool and fast and all but who wants to be in a nice car when you're alone all.
Natalie: So you chose to trash it?
Kevin: No, I was trying to protect it!
Natalie: By trashing it?
Vera: Marv, I gotta pee.
Marv: Vera, you can pee next week.
[Vera and Marv enter Kevin's room, which appears deserted]
Marv: [whispering] I think there's somebody here.
Vera: [yells] Anybody in here?
Marv: No, not now. Shhhh.
Vera: You shhhhhhhh.
Marv: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
[Kevin is trapped in the basement with Mr. Prescott]
Kevin: I don't understand. If they were so mean to you how come you never quit working for them?
Mr. Prescott: I know you are young and that is the most obvious solution, but jobs are not always easy to find.
Dad: Just because you grow up on the outside doesn't mean you want to stop having fun enjoying life.
Kevin: I know all about the inner child dad.
Peter: You do, huh?
Kevin: That's why old guys drive sports cars.
Peter: You're probably right.
Kevin: But the trouble with sports cars, there's no room for anybody else maybe one other person max. But if you want to take a real road trip luggage and all you don’t even have room for a friend I mean there cool and fast and all but who wants to be in a nice car when you're alone all.
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[last lines] I knew this was gonna be the best Christmas ever.
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[The house is awash in water] House, clean yourself up. [nothing happens] Well, it was worth a try.
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[To Kevin] Shut up, you little moron!
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Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get Salisbury steak on Wednesdays.