Elaine I want you to find someone who has real potential, not this holidate crap like your aunt. Sloane She seems like she's having fun. Elaine She's gonna die alone in a wheelchair and a diaper. Is that what you want? Sloane Do I get a male nurse? Jackson I-I don't do drugs. Sloane And you call yourself a professional athlete? Elaine This is what you wear to Christmas dinner? Don't you even own a dress? Sloane I'm great, Mom. Thanks. House looks... beautiful. Elaine Well, your Aunt Susan brought at-the-mall Santa home, and, uh, your nephew just pooped in the manger. Abby Ugh, it was a tiny poo. I mean, he moved the baby Jesus first.