Hagrid quotes from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Hagrid

Yer a wizard Harry.

Hagrid

Looks like he's gonna be sick!

Malfoy

Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he would have remembered to land on his fat arse!

Dudley

Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

Professor McGonagall

Five points each to Gryffindor... for sheer dumb luck!

Dumbledore

It does not do to dwell on dreams Harry, and forget to live.

Dumbledore

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure

Dumbledore

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with caution.

Uncle Vernon

I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering!

Hagrid

Dry up, Dursley, yeh great prune.

Harry

Who are you?

Hagrid

Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Of course, you know all about Hogwarts.

Harry

Sorry, no.

Aunt Petunia

Of course we knew! How could you not be, my perfect sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that - that school - and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats! I was the only one who saw her for what she really was: a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family! Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as - as - abnormal - and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!

Harry

Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!

Hagrid

A CAR CRASH?! A car crash kill Lily an' James Potter?! It's an outrage! It's a scandal!

Hermione

You're a great wizard, Harry, you really are.

Harry

Not as good as you.

Hermione

Me? Books and cleverness... There are more important things, like friendship and bravery. And Harry - just be careful.

Hermione

Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville has lost one. [sees Ron attempting magic] Oh, you're doing magic? Let's see then.

Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.

Hermione

Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, not very good is it? Of course I've only tried a few simple ones myself, but they've all worked for me. For Example, [sits in front of Harry] Oculus Reparo [waves wand]

Hermione

That's better, isn't it. Holy cricket, you're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger and... you are?

I'm Ron Weasley.

Hermione

Pleasure. You two better change into robes, I expect we'll be arriving soon. [leaves, but turns around to face Ron] You've got dirt on your nose, by the way... Did you know? Just there...

Hermione

Now I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another brilliant idea to get us killed... or worse... EXPELLED.

She needs to sort out her priorities.

Malfoy

So it's true then. What they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. This is Crabbe, and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.

Malfoy

You think my name's funny do you? No need to ask for yours. Red hair, and a hand me down robe. You must be a Weasley. You'll soon find out some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.

Harry

I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.

Fred and George. They're beaters.

Yeah. It's our job to make sure you don't get bloodied up too much!

Don't worry. No one's died in years.

Occasionally they'll go missing.

But they'll turn up in a month or two!

Harry

I...can't be a wizard. I'm...just Harry. Just Harry.

Hagrid

Well 'Just Harry'...did you ever make anything happen? Something you couldn't explain when you were angry or...scared?

Harry

You. No, it can't-it can't be. Snape, he was-he was the one who--

Yes, Snape. He does seem the type, doesn't he? Next to him, who would suspect p-p-p-poor st-st-st-stuttering Professor Quirrell?

Harry

But that day, during the Quidditch Match, Snape tried to kill me.

No, dear boy. I tried to kill you! And believe me, if Snape's cloak hadn't caught fire and broken my eye contact, I would have succeeded. Even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse.

Harry

Snape was trying to save me?

I knew you were a danger to me right from the off. Especially after Halloween.

Harry

Th-th-then you let the troll in!

Very good, Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, wasn't fooled. While everyone else was running about the dungeons, he went to the third to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. But he doesn't understand. I'm never alone. Never. Now, what does this mirror do? I see what I desire. I see myself holding the stone. But how do I get it?

Use the boy.

Come here, Potter! Now!

Now... tell me. What do you see?

What is it? What do you see?

Harry

I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've won the House Cup.

He lies.

Tell the truth! WHAT DO YOU SEE?!

Let me speak to him.

Master, you are not strong enough.

I have strength enough for thisssssss.

Harry Potter. We meet again.

Harry

Voldemort?

Yes. You see what I've become? See what I must do to survive? Live off another, a mere parasite. Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can. Something that, conviently enough, lies in your pocket.

Stop him!

Don't be a fool. Why suffer an horrific death when you can join me and live?

Harry

Never!

Bravery. Your parents had it, too. Tell me, Harry, do you wish to see your mother and father again? [Harry's parents appear in the Mirror of Erised] Together, we can bring them back. All I ask is for something in return.

That's it, Harry. There is no good and evil. There is only power. And those too weak to seek it. Together, we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the stone! [Harry's parents disappear from the mirror.]

Harry

You LIAR!

KILL HIM!

What is this magic?

You fool! Get the stone!

Hermione

It's going to be weird going home...isn't it.

Harry

I'm not going home...not really.

Dumbledore

I should have known that you would be here.... Professor McGonagall.

McGonagall

Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus?

Dumbledore

I'm afraid so, Professor. The good and the bad.

McGonagall

And the boy?

Dumbledore

Hagrid is bringing him.

McGonagall

Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

Dumbledore

Ah, Professor. I would trust Hagrid with my life.

Hagrid

Professor Dumbledore, sir. Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore

No problems, I trust, Hagrid?

Hagrid

No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. [hands Dumbledore a bundle – Harry] Try not to wake him. There you go.

McGonagall

Albus, do you really think it's safe, leaving him with these people? I have watched them all day, they're the worst sort of... Muggles imaginable. They really are–

Dumbledore

The only family he has.

McGonagall

This boy will be famous! There won't be a child in our world that doesn't know his name!

Dumbledore

Exactly. He's far better off growing up away from all of that... until he is ready. [Dumbledore places Harry on the doorstep. Hagrid snivels.] There, there, Hagrid. It's not really goodbye, after all. [Hagrid nods. Dumbledore places a letter on Harry.] Good luck, Harry Potter.

Uncle Vernon

Who's there?

Hagrid

Sorry 'bout that. [Picks the door up and puts it back upright in its hole]

Uncle Vernon

I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering!

Hagrid

Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. [grabs the shotgun by its barrels with one hand and bends the barrels upwards; Vernon fires into the ceiling. Hagrid looks at Dudley] Well, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along then I would have expected; particularly 'round the middle.

Dudley

I'm not... I'm not Harry.

Harry

I am.

Hagrid

Well of course you are! Got somethin' for yer. [Gives Harry a box] 'fraid I might have sat on it at some point but I imagine it'll taste fine just the same. Baked it myself, words and all.

Harry

Thank you! [Harry opens the box to reveal a small cake with pink icing and the words "HAPPEE BIRTHDAE HARRY" written in green]

Hagrid

It's not everyday your young man turns 11, now is it?

Harry

Excuse me, but, who are you?

Hagrid

Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Of course, you know all about Hogwarts.

Harry

Sorry, no.

Hagrid

No? Blimey, Harry, did you ever wonder where your Mum and Dad learned it all?

Harry

Learned what?

Hagrid

You're a wizard, Harry.

Harry

I– I'm a what?

Hagrid

A wizard! And a thumpin' good 'un, I'd wager, once you've been trained up a bit.

Harry

I think you've made a mistake. I mean, I... can't be a... a wizard. I mean, I'm... just... Harry. Just Harry.

Hagrid

Well, "Just Harry"... did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared?

Harry

"Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry".

Uncle Vernon

He will not be going! We swore when we took him in that we would put a stop to all of this rubbish!

Harry

You knew!? You knew all along, and you never told me!?

Aunt Petunia

Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being what she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. "We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful?" I was the only one who saw her for what she was: a freak! And then she met that Potter, and she had you, and I knew you'd be the same. Just as strange, just as... abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up, and we got landed with you.

Harry

"Blown up"? You told me my parents died in a car crash!

Hagrid

A car crash?! A car crash killed Lily and James Potter?!

Aunt Petunia

We had to say something...

Hagrid

It's an outrage! It's a scandal!

Uncle Vernon

He will not be going!

Hagrid

Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's going to stop him, are ya?

Harry

"Muggle"?

Hagrid

Non-magic folk. [to the Dursleys, angrily] This boy's had his name down ever since he was born! He's going to the finest school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the world, and he'll be under the finest headmaster that Hogwarts has ever seen: Albus Dumbledore. [In the meantime, Hagrid is unaware of Dudley stealing the cake he made for Harry]

Uncle Vernon

I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!

Hagrid

Never... insult Albus Dumbledore... in front of me. [Hagrid sees Dudley eating Harry's cake and points his umbrella at him. A pig's tail appears on Dudley's bottom. The Dursleys scream and run out of the room] I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. Strictly speakin', I'm not supposed to do magic.

Harry

OK.

Hagrid

We're a bit behind schedule. Best be off. Unless you'd rather stay, a'course.

Harry

"All students must be equipped with... a one standard size two pewter cauldron, and may bring, if they desire, either an owl, a cat, or a toad." [to Hagrid] Can we find all this in London?

Hagrid

If you know where to go.

Harry

He killed my parents, didn't he? The one who gave me this. [points to his scar. Hagrid looks hesitant to respond] You know, Hagrid, I know you do.

Hagrid

First – and understand this, Harry, 'cause it's very important – not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. And a few years ago, there was one wizard who went as bad as ya can go. And his name was V– [becomes tense] His name was V–

Harry

Maybe if you wrote it down?

Hagrid

Nah, I can't spell it. All right... [in a whisper] Voldemort.

Harry

Voldemort?

Hagrid

Shh! It was dark times, Harry, dark times. [As Hagrid narrates, we see a flashback of a robed, hooded figure - Voldemort - breaking into the Potter home in Godric's Hollow and striking Lily dead; it ends just as Voldemort aims his wand at Baby Harry] Voldemort started to gather some followers, brought 'em over to the dark side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dead. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kill 'em. Nobody. Not one. 'cept you.

Harry

Me? Voldemort tried to kill... me?

Hagrid

Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on yer forehead. A mark like that only comes from bein' touched by a curse, and an evil curse at that.

Harry

And what happened to Vol– To You-Know-Who?

Hagrid

Well, some say he died. Codswallop in my opinion. Nope, I reckon he's still out there somewhere, too tired to carry on. But one thing's fer certain: Somethin' about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous. That's why everyone knows your name. You're the Boy Who Lived.

Hagrid

Nonsense! Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom?

Harry

Who knows? Why was he tryna get past that three-headed dog on Halloween?

Hagrid

Who told you about Fluffy?

"Fluffy"?!

Hermione

That thing has a name?

Hagrid

Of course, he's got a name! He's mine! I bought him off an Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the–

Harry

Yes?

Hagrid

Shouldn't have said that. No more questions! Don't ask any more questions. That's top-secret, that is.

Harry

But, Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it.

Hagrid

Codswallop! Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher!

Hermione

Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a spell when I see one. I've read all about them. You've got to keep eye contact and Snape wasn't blinking.

Harry

Exactly.

Hagrid

Now, you listen to me, all three of yeh. Yer meddlin’ in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel.

Harry

Nicholas Flamel?

Hagrid

I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that.

Harry

Nicholas Flamel. [Turns to Hermione] Who's Nicholas Flamel?

Hermione

I don't know. [Shakes her head]

Hagrid

Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me.

Okay.

Hagrid

And Harry, you'll go with Malfoy.

Malfoy

Okay, then I get Fang.

Hagrid

Fine. Just so's you know, he's a bloody coward.
[Malfoy and Harry look over at Fang, who whimpers]

Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many creatures here. The Forest is not safe at this time, especially for you.

Harry

But what was that thing you saved me from?

A monstrous creature. [indicates the dead Unicorn] It is a terrible crime to slay a Unicorn. Drinking a Unicorn's blood will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price, for you have slain something so pure, that from the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life. A cursed life.

Harry

But who would choose such a life?

Can you think of no one?

Harry

Do you mean to say, that-that thing that killed the Unicorn, that was drinking its blood... that was Voldemort?

Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment, Mr. Potter?

Harry

The Sorcerer's Stone.

Hermione

Harry!

Hagrid

Hello there, Firenze. See you've met our young Mr. Potter. You alright there, Harry?

Harry

Mm-hm.

Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck. [he leaves]