Eli Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't **** her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! **** HER FOR ME! FOR ME!
Played by Christopher Rodriguez Marquette 
The Girl Next Door (2004) · 30 quotes
The Girl Next Door (2004) · 30 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Girl Next Door (2004): in 11 of its 30 quotes
Most scenes with: Matthew Kidman (3), Klitz (3)
Minions!
Scenes with Eli
10 scenes Eli Eli God, I just wanna bang hot chicks!
Eli I just gotta **** something.
Eli Minions!
Eli Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
A tripod?
Eli Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs, WE-ALL-FALL!
Eli Shh... Dude, learn to like it.
Eli Dude, don't mess this up.
Mess what up?
Eli Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Eli, I like this girl.
Eli And you can still like her with your penis inside her. Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.
Eli, you're never going to see her again.
Eli Oh, you know what? Fine!
Fine!
Eli Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't **** her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! **** her for me! For me!
Eli Dude!
I know.
Dude!
I know.
Mrs. Kidman
[referring to Eli & Klitz's porn star dates]
Eli, do those girls go to your school?
Eli Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.
[Mrs. Kidman laughs dismisingly]
Film School Student
Why'd you decide to skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?
Eli Dude, this suit costs more than your mom's car. Next quest-
Film School Student
You didn't answer m-
Eli SHUT THE **** UP! Next question.
