Wade
Hey Mikey, wear a condom! An extra small one.
Played by Jonathan Sadowski 
Friday the 13th (2009) · 37 quotes
Friday the 13th (2009) · 37 quotes
May the Force be with your Schwartz!
More lines from Wade
1 quote Wade
Scenes with Wade
3 scenes Wade
Hey guys! Guys! I just found some broken down cabins over there. It's got to be the old camp. Who wants to go check it out?
Mike
Is this all we brought to drink, no Heineken or anything?
Richie
**** that euro-shit, this is Pabst Blue American Ribbon, my friend.
Wade
You do realize this camp was closed down like 20 years ago? Some woman, she went **** nuts, killed all these counselors. Blamed them for her son's drowning, he was like deformed or **** or something. Mom got hers. Uh, apparently there was one survivor. This girl, she cut that lady's head off with a machete. It gets weirder.
Richie
I'm sure it does.
Wade
Her son, Jason, he came back. He was actually there. He watched his mom being beheaded. Actually, a friend of mine, he went to camp around here..
Richie
Aw, sh..
Wade
He went to camp around here! He said the cops came, they were looking for that Jason guy. You know what? Don't believe me, nobody does. Don't believe me. But I'm pretty sure the way the story goes, the place was called Camp Crystal Lake.
Richie
Do you know how many lakes are probably called Crystal Lake? Crystal Geyser, Crystal Water. Go to a supermarket, every single bottle of water is Crystal something.
Wade
Aquafina.
Richie
Okay, fine.
Wade
Okay.
Richie
The story could've happened anywhere dude, that's how they get little kids to shit themselves.
Richie
How's that beer treatin' ya, beer snob?
Mike
Better than my own piss.
Wade
You can drink that by the way. Yours, hers, hers, mine, yours.
Whitney
What?
Wade
Swear to God, piss is sterile.
Amanda
For the record, you will never drink my piss.
Wade
That's what you think.
Richie
I get it though, dude, you do what you've got to do to survive, you know? If we were all out here starving to death, and you were, and you were dead, I'd eat your leg.
Amanda
Really sweet. Yeah.
Richie
Thank you.
Wade
Why would you eat my leg, man? I can teach you how to fish, just go fishing.
Richie
I don't eat fish.
Amanda
That's not what you told me.
