Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record?

I don't understand.

He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I've spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year.

This is all news to me.

It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine times.

Nine times?

Nine times.

I don't remember him being sick nine times.

That's probably because he wasn't sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It's a fool's paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path.

I can't believe it.

I've got it right here in front of me. He has missed nine days...

[His computer screen begins counting down from nine to two. Ferris is at home looking at the same screen]

I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?