Jeanie Bueller Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe Ferris isn't such a bad guy. After all, I got a car. He got a computer. But still, why should he get to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants? Why should everything work out for him? What makes him so god damn special? [out loud] Screw him. Jeanie Bueller There is an intruder--male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird--in my kitchen. M-my-my-my name is Bueller. Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right?! I need help! Speak any English?! Dick head! Jeanie Bueller Excuse me. If whoever's in the house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I have just called the police. If you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house real quick. I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun. And a scorching case of herpes.