“There is an intruder--male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly...” – Jeanie Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off ... Movie Quotes Database

[speaking to the police]

There is an intruder--male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird--in my kitchen. M-my-my-my name is Bueller. Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right?! I need help! Speak any English?! Dick head!

More from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Jeanie Bueller Excuse me. If whoever's in the house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I have just called the police. If you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house real quick. I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun. And a scorching case of herpes. Jeanie Bueller Do you know where she is? [unheard reply] Do you know when she'll be back? [unheard reply] Do you know anything?! [hangs up furiously] Jeanie Bueller What? You're letting him stay home? If I was bleeding out my eyes you guys would make me go to school. This is so unfair!