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Fat Albert

Fat Albert quotes

55 total quotes

Dumb Donald
Fat Albert
Multiple Characters
Weird Hal

Fat Albert: (concerned) That girl has a problem.
Doris: What problem?
Fat Albert: You must have a problem, you were cryin'.
Doris: Problem...right...Um,um, uh, I was crying because I lost my, um (looks around for something, spots backpack) my backpack!
Rudy: (pointing at backpack) Is that it?
Doris: (feigning surprise) Oh! You found my backpack!

Guy in Class: What's that on your head?
Dumb Donald: It's my hat.
Guy in Class: Why don't you take it off?
Dumb Donald: I have no face.
Guy in Class: Right. (grabs backpack and moves)

Mrs. Forchik: Doris says that you're visiting. Where is it that you live?
Fat Albert: North Philly.
(Class laughs)
Fat Albert: Is that funny?
Mrs. Forchik: Yes. It is. Considering the fact that you're in North Philadelphia and therefore are visiting North Philadelphia from North Philadelphia.
Fat Albert: Hmm...

Mush Mouth: (refering to Lauri) Oh, boy. That be some nice budda-bup.
Weird Hal: You watch your mouth!

Old Man: You go out there and you'll poke your eye out!
Russell: Why do adults always say you'll poke your eye out?

Reggie: You wanna race me, beefy boy?
Rudy: You don't wanna race Fat Albert.
Reggie: "Fat Albert?" (he and Arthur laughs)
Dumb Donald: Yeah, he's fat, but he's fast.
Mush Mouth: Fabby but fabba.
(Reggie stares at Mush mouth, who then mumbles more)
Reggie: Okay...

Fat Albert: Okay. I'll race you, but I can't take my clothes off.
Reggie: Great. 'Cause nobody wants to see all that blubber anyways.

Rudy: (to Bill) Okay, say you're a girl and you're on a roller coaster.
Bill: I'm not sayin' I'm a girl on a roller coaster. What's wrong with you, man? Why don't you say you're a girl on a roller coaster by yourself!

Rudy: Can I ask you a question?
Doris: Sure.
Rudy: (sighs) If I didn't have to go back-I mean, if I was a real person, would you-
Doris: Would I what?
Rudy: (hesitates) Would you go out with me?
Doris: (giggles lightly) You mean, like, on a date?
Rudy: Yeah.
Doris: But we are on a date.
Rudy: That's right. Cool.

Store Clerk: That'll be $10,428.22.
Fat Albert: Uh, I-I don't have any money.
Store Clerk : Why didn't you tell me that?
Fat Albert: You didn't ask.

Weird Hal: Oh, my! I can see his behind.
Bucky: My behind?
Rudy: So that's what one looks like?
Bill: Looks Like it's broken

Doris: Let's go. The show's already started and you guys gotta get your behinds back in the T.V.
Bucky: But no lookin'.
Doris: At what?
Bucky: Never you mind. Just no lookin'.

(Darren shows up wearing the exact same outfit as Rudy.)
Darren: Yeah, I figure with this new hot look, be getting all the girls.
Rudy: I hear you, man. Somethin' I've been living with for years.
Darren: Hey, man, your colors. They're fading. You need to chill with that bleach, man.

(Doris comes down the stairs dressed for the party.)
Rudy: Wow.
Bill: Doris, you look great.
Dumb Donald: You look tight.
Fat Albert: What'd you just say?
Dumb Donald: I learned it at the mall.
Fat Albert: Oh. Well, don't talk that way about Doris.
Doris: You-you really think I look okay?
Rudy: When you walk into the party, people are gonna notice.
Doris: Yeah?
Gang: (dazed) Yeah...

(Lauri and Fat Albert are dancing together)
Reggie: I know what Lauri's doin'. She's just dancing with him to make me jealous.
Arthur: (agreeing) Yeah.
Reggie: Yeah.
Arthur: Yeah?
Reggie: (angrily) Yeah!

(The Gang is looking at a poster of their T.V. series. It reads: "FAT ALBERT and the Cosby Kids OWN THE COMPLETE COLLECTION ON DVD")
Bill: See. That's who we are.
Rudy: Yeah. And we're coming out on "divda."

(Trying to convince Doris to go to the party.)
Fat Albert: You want us to go back in the T.V., don't ya?
Doris: Are you threatening me?
Fat Albert: Is it working?