Charles Jefferson
[to Damone, about his car]
Don't **** with it!
Jeff Spicoli
Sean Penn · 19 quotes
Brad Hamilton
Judge Reinhold · 12 quotes
Mike Damone
Robert Romanus · 12 quotes
Mr. Hand
Ray Walston · 8 quotes
Linda
Phoebe Cates · 4 quotes
Stacy
Jennifer Jason Leigh · 4 quotes
Mark
Brian Backer · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Stacy & Linda (4), Jeff Spicoli & Brad Hamilton (3), Jeff Spicoli & Mr. Hand (3)
Fast Times at Ridgemont High quotes
Page 1 of 4You see this month's Playboy? Bo Derek's tits... I like sex.
Hey, you guys had shirts on when you came in here.
Well, something must have happened to them.
Why don't you get a job Spicoli?
What for?
You need money.
All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
Businessman It says one hundred percent guaranteed, you moron!
Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass!
Curtis Spicoli
Dad says you have to get up
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Curtis Spicoli
Dad says you're gonna be late again you butthole!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Curtis Spicoli
Dad says you're gonna be late again you booger!
[dropping in on Stacy's house to swim]
This is going to be great, Rat. It's like the highlight of their day.
Hey maybe we'd better call first. I dunno about dropping in like...
What are you kidding? We're gunna surprise them. Look, just fix your collar, alright? Relax, just be cool, attitude, remember? Where'd you get that, outta the hamper?
Hey, come on, this is clean.
Look Rat, it's like riding a bike. Fall off; you're right back on. Mess up a date, do it again.
I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.
Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.
The attitude?
Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.
Linda, he didn't show up.
That little prick.
I even called his house, and his mother told me that he was in the garage out by his father.
Well, Mike Damone's a no-brain little prick, Stacy. I'm not gonna let him get away with this.
Linda, please don't do anything. I don't even like the guy.
Stacy, he's not a guy. He's a little prick.
[The next morning, Mike gets up from his apartment room to head to his car and finds the word "prick" spray painted on his door.]
We were out messing around and something happened.
What do you mean something happened?
Look, I never even talked to her again. Rat, if you asked me, she's a very aggressive girl.
No, I don't know what you mean.
Rat, she never really was your girlfriend.
You know, Damone. I always stick up for you. They say, "Oh, Damone, that loud mouth," and they say that a lot. I say, "Oh, no, you just don't know Damone." I mean, when they call you an idiot, I say Damone's not an idiot. Well, you know something? Maybe they know you pretty good. Maybe I'm just starting to find out.
Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone?
Desmond I saw him outside, near the food machines.
How long ago?
Desmond Right before class.
All right. Bring him in.
[Desmond exits]
What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!
Mr. Vargas [entering the morgue]
Hey, you in my class?
I am today.
Mr. Vargas They sold their bodies to medicine for money. About $30, I think.
Dr. Miller Twenty-five.
Righteous bucks!
Hey, wait a minute. There's no birthday party for me here! Hola, Mr. Hand.
What's the reason for your truancy?
Just couldn't make it on time.
You mean you couldn't or wouldn't?
See, there was a full crowd at the food lines.
Food will be eaten on your time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why must you shamelessly waste my time like this?
[writes I DON'T KNOW on the chalkboard]
I like that. Hmm Hmm. "I don't know," that's nice. 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?' 'Gee Mr. Spicoli, I don't know.' That's nice, I really like that. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to leave your words on my board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.
All right!
Spicoli
No shirt, no shoes...
Jeff and Stoner Buds
No dice! Ohhhh.
Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Spicoli
He's the full hot orator.