Victor Shakapopulis When it comes to sex, there are some mysteries that should remain unexplored. And with my luck, they always will be.
Tied for most-quoted character in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask) (1972): in 5 of its 17 quotes
A line from Victor ShakapopulisI don't know if you've read my book, "Advanced Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing."
More lines from Victor Shakapopulis
1 quote Victor Shakapopulis Scenes with Victor Shakapopulis
3 scenes Victor Shakapopulis Doctor, I read a statement you made that, uh, you felt that the average length of a man's penis should be nineteen inches. Doesn't that seem a little long?
Dr. Bernardo Long? My friend, I'm making discoveries you wouldn't dream of.
Victor Shakapopulis Yes I know, but nineteen inches. I mean that's-...
Dr. Bernardo Does it sound mad? That's what they called me at Masters of Johnsons Clinic, mad. Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. It was I who first discovered how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat. I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics. It was I who first said that the clitoral orgasm should not be only for women! They ridiculed me, said I was mad, haha! But I showed them. They threw me out of Masters of Johnson, no severance but, and I had it coming. But I showed them!
Victor Shakapopulis Are we having dessert?
Dr. Bernardo Here I'm studying premature ejaculation in a hippopotamus.
Victor Shakapopulis How often does that problem come up with a hippo?
Dr. Bernardo Here I'm forcing a man to have intercourse with a large rye bread. They're getting on famously! Here I'm going to take the brain of a lesbian and put it into the body of a man who works for the telephone company.
Victor Shakapopulis But why? What good will this do anybody?
Dr. Bernardo It'll show those fools who called me mad!
Helen Lacey Oh, Victor, please don't do anything dangerous!
Victor Shakapopulis Don't worry. I know how to handle tits.
