Robert Philip [to Morgan after giving her a book]
I know it's not the fairytale book you wanted, but this is better.
Played by Patrick Dempsey 
Enchanted (2007) · 72 quotes
Enchanted (2007) · 72 quotes
Most-quoted character in Enchanted (2007): in 28 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Giselle (14), Queen Narissa (3)
I know how it is when someone disappoints you. It's tempting to see things the way you wish they were instead of how they are,
More lines from Robert Philip
6 quotes Robert Philip Robert Philip Just because she has on a funny dress doesn't mean she's a princess.
Robert Philip Forget about "happily ever after". It doesn't exist.
Robert Philip How come people keep giving you free stuff?
Robert Philip I said I don't dance. I never said I couldn't.
Robert Philip [to a dying Giselle]
Please, don't leave me.
Scenes with Robert Philip
21 scenes
Morgan Philip
Daddy, why is there a princess on the castle billboard?
Robert Philip It's an advertisement. It's a mannequin.
You see, I've been wandering very far and long tonight, and I'm afraid nobody has been very nice to me.
Robert Philip Yeah, well, welcome to New York.
Thank you.
Robert Philip Would you like me to call someone for you?
I don't think they would hear you from here.
Robert Philip Is this a big habit of yours, falling off stuff?
Well, usually someone catches me.
Now, if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night.
Robert Philip What kind of place?
I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree.
Robert Philip A hollow tree?
Or a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.
Robert Philip What… what about the grown-up girl bonding time with you and Morgan? About you bringing her to school.
What, so you can have your own grown-up girl bonding time? I don't think so!
Why are you staring at me?
Robert Philip I don't know. It's… it's like you escaped from a Hallmark card or something.
Is that a bad thing?
Robert! This is Clara. She saw Edward.
Robert Philip Oh.
Clara
He was on the bus this morning.
Robert Philip Uh-huh…
Clara
He tried to kill me!
Robert Philip Great. Wonderful. That's great.
Robert Philip Oh no, no, no...
Robert Philip People look-looking...
Robert Philip Don't sing. It's okay, you know. Let's just walk. Can we walk?
Jamaican Man
["singing"]
How does she know that you love her?
Robert Philip He knows this song, too?
Robert Philip I don't dance.
Robert Philip And I really don't sing.
Robert Philip What are you, crazy? They're birds! They don't know where she lives.
Robert Philip You know what? I don't know if you're kidding or if you're being ironic, because chipmunks, they don't talk.
Well, not here they don't.
Is that the only word that you know? "No?"
Robert Philip No.
Oh, yeah.
Robert Philip No.
"No."
Robert Philip No.
"No."
Robert Philip No. I mean, No! No.
"No! No! No!" Over and over again! Every word out of your mouth is "No!" It just makes me so... Oh, sometimes you make me so...
Robert Philip Makes you so what?
You make me so... so... angry! [laughs] I'm angry. [laughs]
Have you any last words before I dispatch you?
Robert Philip You have got to be kidding me!
Strange words.
Dragon Narissa
[in reference to killing them]
Let's begin with the girl who started it all, shall we?
Robert Philip Over my dead body.
Dragon Narissa
Alright. I'm flexible. [grabs Robert]
Robert Philip Put me down! You're crazy!
Dragon Narissa
No. Spiteful, vindictive, very large, but never crazy.
Is this a habit of yours? Falling off of stuff?
Robert Philip Only when you're around to catch me.
You see, I've been wandering very far and long tonight, and I'm afraid nobody has been very nice to me.
Robert [cynically]
Yeah, well, welcome to New York.
Robert [looks at her strangely]
You sure you're okay?
Yes.
Robert Would you like me to call someone for you?
Well, I don't think they would hear you from here.
Robert Okay, you know what? You gotta go. Look, I don't know what your deal is, if you're waiting around for Prince Charming or you're just...?
Robert Whatever. Look, I'll get you to a bus, a train, a plane, a whatever, then, that's it. After that, I can't...I can't get involved after that. [Giselle emerges from the bathroom in a bright blue and pink dress] Where did you get that?
I made it. Do you like it? [Robert notices dress-shaped holes in his curtains and looks quite shocked] You're unhappy.
Robert [angrily]
You made a dress out of my curtains?
Oh, you are unhappy! I'm so sorry.
Robert Oh, I'm not unhappy. I'm angry. An unpleasant emotion. Ever heard of it?
Sam She has no driver's license, no passport, I can't even find this place she comes from.
Robert Phillip What place?
Sam Andalusia.
Robert Andalasia.
Sam Whatever. I've called every travel agent, every airline. I'm not sure if it's a country or a city.
Robert It can't be a state.
Sam [Both watch Giselle acting strangely]
More like a state of mind. And she told me it's just beyond the meadows of joy and the [mimicking Giselle] valley of contentment. [normal voice] What is that all about?
[after transforming herself into a dragon in front of everyone]
Ah, of all this nauseating talk of true love's kiss, it really does bring out the worse in me. You know I've been thinking, if I'm going to remain Queen, I'm gonna need some sort of story when I go back. Hmm...What if a giant vicious beast showed up, and killed everyone, and poor defenseless Queen Narissa, she just couldn't save them? [looks at Giselle] Let's begin with the girl who started it all, shall we?
Robert Over my dead body.
Alright. I'm flexible. [grabs Robert] Come along, Giselle! We don't want you to miss this ending! [busts out of the window and climbs up the building]
