Tom Destry, Jr. [to Frenchy, as she throws bottles at him]
You sure have a knack of makin' a stranger feel right at home, ma'am. Nice knowin' ya.
Most-quoted character in Destry Rides Again (1939): in 9 of its 15 quotes
Most scenes with: Wash (4), Frenchy (3)
Nobody's gonna set themselves up above the law around here. You understand? I've got somethin' to say to you. I think maybe I can illustrate it a little better if I told you a story. I used to have a friend that was an Opry singer. But he went into the cement business. And one day, he fell into the cement. And now he's the cornerstone of the post office in St. Louis, Missouri. He should have stuck to his own trade. You'd better stick to yours.
More lines from Tom Destry, Jr.
1 quote Tom Destry, Jr. Scenes with Tom Destry, Jr.
7 scenes
Everybody's laughin' at ya. Tom, you made an impression on this town that's got to be eradicated right now.
Destry Oh now, Wash, don't you think them first impressions are darn fool things to jump at, though?
Around here, you gotta jump first or you don't live long.
Mr. Destry, before we start drinking, I think you and me oughta come to an understanding.
Destry Well, I'm all for folks understandin' each other. That's a mighty fine idea, Mr. Kent.
I'm glad you agree with me. So I'll start by telling you that I have a very peculiar hobby.
Destry So have I. Mine's carvin' napkin rings. What's yours?
Mine's collectin' deputy sheriff's guns. [The saloon empties out] Whenever I meet a new deputy, I always ask him for his gun. And I ask 'em real nice.
Destry Well, I'm sorry Mr. Kent, I'm afraid this here's one gun your collection's gonna be minus.
You mean I'm gonna have to take it?
Destry If you can. Now hold on, hold on. Don't get excited here. I was just tryin' to tell ya that I ain't got any guns. You see, if I would have had a gun there, why, one of us might have got hurt - and it might have been me. I wouldn't like that, would I? [Kent laughs]
Bugs Tweet, tweet. I'm a canary. Where's my cage?
Gyp It's gettin' sunny. Where's my parasol?
Folks - seems like we got a deputy that knows what's good for him. If he don't carry a gun, he can't get into any trouble. And if anybody comes to you, you come to Uncle.
Destry I'll remember that, Mr. Kent.
What'll you have, deputy? [They turn and face the bar]
Loupgerou Milk?
Destry Yeah, I think I will.
[hands Destry a broom and a wooden bucket full of water]
I can see now how you cleaned up Tombstone. You can start right here - and don't forget the corners.
What in tarnation do you believe in?
Destry Law and order.
Without guns?
Destry Without 'em!
Well, if that don't beat all, let go. Oh Tom, the reason they made me sheriff here is because I was the town drunk. They wanted someone they could kick around, someone who wouldn't ask questions. But I was aimin' to fool 'em, do things right, sendin' for you. And now, you fooled me.
Destry Well, you will fool 'em, Wash. We'll fool 'em together.
The only way to do that is fill 'em full of lead.
Destry No, no, no, what for? You shoot it out with 'em and for some reason or other, I don't know why, they get to look like heroes. But you put 'em behind bars and they look little and cheap, the way they oughta look. And that serves as a warnin' for the rest of 'em to keep away.
Oh that won't work here in Bottleneck. You go on home and I'll go back to bein' the town drunk. That's all I'm good for.
Destry Now you're not goin' back to bein' the town drunk and I'm gonna stay here and do this job I come for. My pa did it the old way and I'm gonna do it a new way. And if I don't prove to you that I'm right, I'll get out of town quick enough, don't worry. But first you got to give me a chance, Wash. You've got to give me a chance on this thing...Now come on, come on, swear me in, Sheriff.
Look at this post. Soaked through and through with the blood of Saw-tooth Magee. Yeah, he objected to a petticoat a neighbor's wife was wearing and they fit to a draw. Both buried in the same grave.
Destry It's all due to the petticoat.
No, Saw-tooth and the neighbor and four innocent bystanders. You gotta listen to reason or get out of town.
Destry Aw, I think I'll stick around. You know, I had a friend once who used to collect postage stamps. He always said the one good thing about a postage stamp - it always sticks to one thing 'til it gets there, you know. I'm sort of like that too.
Destry I've seen hundreds like you all the way from Jacksonville to Sacramento. And you all think easy pickin's will last forever.
You'd better mind your own business or you're heading for trouble.
Destry Trouble is my business.
Well, you'll have plenty from me. I do as I like in this town - understand? And anyone who gets in my way is taken care of.
Destry Like they took care of Keogh?
Yes, just like that.
Destry That's what I thought.
What do you think you're going to do?
Destry Don't get scared.
I'm not scared of anything, and you keep your mouth shut and get out of town before it's too late for you.
Destry Oh now come on, I don't think you're half as bad as you make out to be.
Never mind what I am.
Destry I'll bet you've got kind of a lovely face under all that paint, huh? Why don't you wipe it off someday and have a good look - and figure out how you can live up to it.
I wanted to see you before I left...I'm just tired of Bottleneck - the whole crowd and everything I've been doing. So I'm going back to New Orleans.
Destry Well, the folks are all gonna miss you around here. All except a few wives, I suppose.
What about you?
Destry Me too.
It's wonderful this time of year. You'd like it there. How about it? [Three gun shots ring out] No Tom, you can't go out there! They know all about the federal judge! They'll kill you if you go down the stairs! Stay here, Tom!
Destry Now don't do any talkin' now, just rest.
I'll talk if I wanna - for a little while, anyway.
Destry All right, if you wanna talk.
I'll bet you knew a fellow once who did something like falling asleep when he oughta kept awake. Didn't ya, huh?
Destry Yeah, I knew a fella that lived down around Wichita. He was a ...well you see, he tried to keep awake one night when he was gonna catch a stage over to a nearby town and he had a girl over there he was courtin'...
A man must be an awful fool to get shot in the back....
Destry Wait a minute, you know, that's how they shot my father. They didn't dare face him either.
They didn't give us a chance, did they?
Destry No.
Oh, I'm sleepy, plumb-tuckered out.
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