Frenchy Practice makes perfect.
Well that does it. This gives us a solid strip of land right across the valley.
Frenchy And what do we do now?
C Cowboy
Nothin', until those cattlemen try to drive their herds through without payin'.
Bugs How many steers will come through?
Last year, there were 350,000. Now if we charge 'em twenty-five cents a head, that makes...$87,500.
Bugs Now that's money.
Frenchy We're rich!
Gyp I'll get my gal's teeth plugged with diamonds and just set and watch her smile. [Frenchy stuffs the signed-over deed to the land into her low-cut dress]
[as he grabs the paper]
I'll take care of that.
Frenchy [She takes some gold coins from the poker game and drops them down the front of her dress]
I'd rather have cash - in the bank.
Frenchy I still serve the best coffee in Bottleneck.
Slade What did Keogh have on his mind?
Frenchy Oh, he was just getting a little curious about that real-estate business.
Slade I think I'll have to buy an option on his curiosity. [Two shots are heard from upstairs]
Frenchy I think you'll have to buy yourself a whole new sheriff - if you can find one.
Dimsdale I want a deputy like I was when Destry was my boss. Why we handled a much tougher and ornery crowd than I see present. Why when we started shootin', they ran out of town so fast, the breeze from their coat-tails set off a scythe of a windmill.
Frenchy But Destry is dead.
C Cowboy
That makes him the right man for the job.
2C 2nd Cowboy
Saves us a lot of trouble.
Dimsdale Is that so? Well, young Tom ain't dead and his father brought him up to be the toughest and fighting-est man that ever growed up in the West. He ain't got as big a name as his pa, but he cleaned up Tombstone. And I'm sendin' for him to be my deputy. And when he gets here, Destry will ride again!
Mr. Destry, before we start drinking, I think you and me oughta come to an understanding.
Well, I'm all for folks understandin' each other. That's a mighty fine idea, Mr. Kent.
I'm glad you agree with me. So I'll start by telling you that I have a very peculiar hobby.
So have I. Mine's carvin' napkin rings. What's yours?
Mine's collectin' deputy sheriff's guns. [The saloon empties out] Whenever I meet a new deputy, I always ask him for his gun. And I ask 'em real nice.
Well, I'm sorry Mr. Kent, I'm afraid this here's one gun your collection's gonna be minus.
You mean I'm gonna have to take it?
If you can. Now hold on, hold on. Don't get excited here. I was just tryin' to tell ya that I ain't got any guns. You see, if I would have had a gun there, why, one of us might have got hurt - and it might have been me. I wouldn't like that, would I? [Kent laughs]
Bugs Tweet, tweet. I'm a canary. Where's my cage?
Gyp It's gettin' sunny. Where's my parasol?
Folks - seems like we got a deputy that knows what's good for him. If he don't carry a gun, he can't get into any trouble. And if anybody comes to you, you come to Uncle.
I'll remember that, Mr. Kent.
What'll you have, deputy? [They turn and face the bar]
Loupgerou Milk?
Frenchy [hands Destry a broom and a wooden bucket full of water]
I can see now how you cleaned up Tombstone. You can start right here - and don't forget the corners.
Lily Belle Hey you, give me those pants. [She grabs them from Frenchy] And from now on, you leave my husband alone!
Frenchy I don't want your husband, Mrs. Callahan. All I want is his money - and his pants.
Lily Belle And how did you get 'em? By makin' eyes at him while you cheat? You gilded-lily you!
Frenchy But Mrs. Callahan, you know that he would rather be cheated by me than married to you.
Lily Belle What did you say?
Frenchy You heard me.
Lily Belle That's what I thought you said.
[They fight]
I've seen hundreds like you all the way from Jacksonville to Sacramento. And you all think easy pickin's will last forever.
Frenchy You'd better mind your own business or you're heading for trouble.
Frenchy Well, you'll have plenty from me. I do as I like in this town - understand? And anyone who gets in my way is taken care of.
Like they took care of Keogh?
Frenchy Yes, just like that.
Frenchy What do you think you're going to do?
Frenchy I'm not scared of anything, and you keep your mouth shut and get out of town before it's too late for you.
Oh now come on, I don't think you're half as bad as you make out to be.
Frenchy Never mind what I am.
I'll bet you've got kind of a lovely face under all that paint, huh? Why don't you wipe it off someday and have a good look - and figure out how you can live up to it.
Frenchy I wanted to see you before I left...I'm just tired of Bottleneck - the whole crowd and everything I've been doing. So I'm going back to New Orleans.
Well, the folks are all gonna miss you around here. All except a few wives, I suppose.
Frenchy What about you?
Frenchy It's wonderful this time of year. You'd like it there. How about it? [Three gun shots ring out] No Tom, you can't go out there! They know all about the federal judge! They'll kill you if you go down the stairs! Stay here, Tom!
